a fresh green salad
after a long summer day
of working outside

Georgia Martindale

garden dirt
across her furrowed brow
a crisp green salad

after a hot summer day
of working outside
a fresh chopped salad

long summer day
working outside
refreshing green salad

Clocking out
Long summer day
Fresh green salad

After working in the yard
On a long summer day
Fresh chopped salad

red mulch
under his fingernails
a fresh crisp salad

fresh green salad
working outside
on a long summer day

crisp and cool air
goose bumps
pulling tighter on a blanket

pulling my blanket tighter
the brisk, spring air
gives me goose bumps

Brisk spring air
Goose bumps
Pulling her closer

open window
brisk spring breeze
a tighter hug on the blanket

crisp air
goosebumps     hair-raising
pulling tight on his jacket

crisp and cool air
goose bumps form
i pull tighter on the blanket

Alex Herrera

endless runs for supplies
papers, pens, books
start of classes

Kalli Farmer

running for supplies
papers, pens, books
classes begin

unending supply run
paper, pens, books
all unwanted

Classes begin
The need for supplies
Never ends

backpack heavy
with supplies
the first bell rings

a bag full of books
sharpened pencils
empty notebooks

New year
Backpack full
Of empty notebooks

backpack full
pencil sharp
notebook empty

Lucas Chatterton

a full backpack
sharp pencils
for an empty mind

a bag full of books
sharpened pencils jumbled
with empty notebooks

sharpened pencil
a bag heavy
with empty notebooks

sharpened pencils
a bag heavy
with empty notebooks

long nights
long conversations
short summers

long night
a long conversation before
summer ends

long night
long conversation
before summer's end

Benjamin Maynard

long night
not enough summer
for our conversations

long night
long conversation
short summer

in the quaint café
clinking coffee mugs
nostalgic thoughts

quaint café
coffee mugs clink
nostalgic thoughts

quaint café
thoughts
clink through my head

bustling café
clinking coffee mugs
slow nostalgic conservation

the quaint café
stirring my thoughts
in the coffee mug

bustling café
clinking coffee mugs
slow nostalgic conservation

Mackenzie Martin

Georgia really helped me come up with this one, and I like it much better than my original because of the contrast between the busy cafe and the slow, comfortable conversation that the narrator is immersed in.

(make these into 1 haiku)

no more sun
all that is visible
walls desks and a chalkboard

tan fading fast
trapped
from the outside

All that is visible
Tan fading
Trapped from the inside

sun fading fast
trapped
walls desks and a chalkboard

tans fade
trapped inside
the sun a distant memory

Mia Klek

makeup melting
hair sticking
to my neck

amphitheater
the mic taped to
my sweaty neck

makeup melting fast 
damp hair sticking 
on my neck

Maya Dougherty

amphitheater
mic tape
on my sweaty neck

my hair sticks
as the makeup melts
onto my neck

blazing heat
sweat trickles down my face
I prepare to hit the tennis ball

Trey DeLuna

blazing heat
sweat trickles down
rip the tennis ball

blazing heat
sweat streams down my face
I strike the tennis ball

four beach balls
twisting through the air
like conversation

our conversation
twisitng through the air
beach balls

Beach balls
Twisting through the air
A conversation

Four beach balls
Gliding through the air
Like conversation

sandy beach balls
twisting through the air
loud conversation

Mackenzie Martin

beach balls
float through the air
our conversation

persistent boys
play baseball despite the heat
worried mothers call them inside

red-faced boys
play baseball in the heat
Mom's time out

Lane Casper

I really enjoyed reading the haiku edits that people wrote of my haiku, but this one was my favorite. The writer simplified my haiku that was originally more wordy, and made it more impactful. I like the last line especially, "Mom's time out," because it says what my original haiku said but with less words. Lane

energized boys
play ball into the night
while mothers corral them

street baseball
mom's ice cream bribe
coaxes them in

ukulele
panic
she serenades me

Madeline Delano

panic!
the ukulele is strummed
as she serenades me

admiring her panic
she serenades me
with a ukulele

flushed face
she strums
the ukele

gazing down a long road
blurry lines of heat radiate
forming a mirage

a long road
heat radiating from the old car
forms a mirage

a long road
heat from the old car
forms a mirage

Austin Taylor

I liked the addition of the car into the haiku as well as making it shorter and more simple. It makes me picture a car speeding off in the distance in the desert with one road cutting through the middle and noticing the blurry lines from the car's and desert's heat. Austin

electricity surges
as he lightly grazes
her lower back

sparks fly
as he caresses
her lower back

Trey DeLuna

He lightly grazes
Her lower back
electricity surges

He lightly grazes
Her lower back
Electricity surges

This version was better than the original version because the last line was originally the first line which didn't quite make sense in the haiku. The last line brings the whole haiku together and makes it flow better. Masha

sparks surge
his hand lingers
on the small of her back

a gasp
the first breath
of the newborn's life

Maya Dougherty

gasp
the first breath
newborn

The gasp
The newborn
First breath

a gasp
the first breath
of life

the ball of fire
becomes     farther and     farther away
as we begin to put on our jackets

Masha Kostic

The ball of fire
Becomes farther away
We put on our jackets

the ball of fire
drifts     farther away
we zip our jackets

jackets on
the burning ball
departs from my view

I stick my feet out from under the blanket
as I become too hot
to fall asleep

Alex Pratt

sticking my feet out from under the blanket
too hot
to fall asleep

too hot to sleep
feet poke out
from my velvet blanket