Nailed It

My senior year of high school, I had to audition for 25 schools for the major I am pursuing. That being said, the first semester was extremely stressful. I was constantly driving around the country every weekend with my mom for another audition while studying for tests for classes like honors physics. On the way to Boston I was studying for a AP Calc exam when I could not figure out this one question. I had been working on it for what seemed like days until finally my frustration got the best of me and I threw the paper and pencil down and gave up on. My mom told me to take a deep breath and to focus on my audition the next day, but being the teenager that I was, I immediately declined her generous attempt of getting me to calm down, and flipped out on her, saying that she doesn't understand what I'm going through and all of that. When we got to the hotel, I continued to let the math problem get the best of me and continued my attitude throughout the whole night. I was extremely crabby and just wanted to go back home. That night I went to bed angry and not feeling like I was ready for my audition the next day or my test the next week. However, the next day I woke up to my mom waiting by my bedside with a cup of tea and some eggs, and I realized just how lucky I was to be doing what I love doing and how unimportant a single problem in a high school calc class is. I went to my audition and nailed it, getting into Boston Conservatory of Music, which was a pretty good feeling.

waking up
to mom on my bedside
how lucky am I

Rolled Out of Bed

I remember my insecure teenage years. Everyone was very self-conscious and wanted to look good before school. I'd wake up at 5:45 am every morning in high school in order to have enough time to straighten/curl my hair, do my makeup (maybe), and get my outfit ready in order to make the bus at 6:44. Of course, this rarely left any time for breakfast, which my mother sometimes packed and I'd eat it at around 7:30 in the cafeteria with my friends before school started. On occasions that I didn't have enough time to fully finish my makeup, I'd pull it out on the shaky bus and attempt to put on mascara, foundation, and maybe a lip color, usually without a mirror. Over time, my mirrorless skill developed and I was able to quickly swipe on my makeup without looking in the mirror, except for the foundation of course. I was so worried that everyone would stare at me and judge me if I didn't wear enough makeup or if my hair wasn't curled or if my outfit wasn't cute. I stressed so much about my appearance that almost daily, I'd look at how my favorite fashion bloggers dressed and how makeup artists meticulously patted on their eyeshadow. Looking back on my previous self, I shouldn't have been so worried and concerned over the way I looked because I knew everyone else would be insecure, and I learned during my senior year of high school that no one really cares how you look. At least, not as much as I originally thought. Now in college, I still try to maintain my appearance without looking like I rolled out of bed. I have found a good balance between casual and dressed up. People care even less now, and whether I walk around with a full face of makeup or none at all, I couldn't really care less because I'm much more confident in my appearance.

scrambling to cake up
my young face
for no one in particular

Looking Perfect

In junior high and high school, I remember how much pressure I felt to look my best for school. I would do my hair and makeup every single day without fail in order to please people who I didn't even truly like. I remember some days I would wake up late, and I would sometimes have to finish up my makeup on the bus. I would use my small makeup mirror and make a few adjustments on the way to school, either on the bus, or in my older sister's car. I would continue to fix myself throughout the day, and reapply my lip product religiously. I remember being so proud of my ability to apply eyeliner and lipstick in a moving vehicle. Now, I don't feel the pressure to look perfect everyday. I wish someone would have told me then.

woke up late
still make time
to separate each lash

Soaked Shoes

Four years ago, my sister and I went fishing in a secret pond that we were given access to due to a connection at the time. I was a warm summer day after work and we wanted to go fishing. I personally am not a fan of fishing because my patience runs out too fast, but my sister used to love it so I wanted to go with her. We gathered up our equipment and headed to the spot which took only a few minutes. Everything went well to our astonishment and we had a great day. The fish seemed to only be biting in the middle of a shallower area that surrounded a small islet so we did our best to jump to it without getting wet. The thick vegetation made it difficult to see where the dry land started so we ended up soaking our shoes and having a good laugh. Dragonflies were whirling along the bank and the grass had grown tall which made it very easy for insects to become annoying. The place had not been used in years and nature had reclaimed the area, overrunning the old barn and tractor that lied across the pond.my sister and I sat through most of the day catching fish and goofing around in field adjacent to the pond. We were already close, but trips, little adventures, and small outings like this are dear to me because at that time I knew that one day we would grow up and get lives of our own.

frog
leaps through the air
my joyous little sister

Turkey River

My family has a farm in Elgin, Iowa, which is a tiny town in the northeastern part of Iowa. My dad's best friend from college lives close to our farm, and ever since I was two years old, our families get together to go canoeing and fishing on the Turkey River, which flows through our farm. The river is my happy place. There is not a care in the world. Nobody worries about his or her job, school, or even what time it is. All we care about is the people we are with while we float down the river. We enjoy the sunny, windless days while dipping our feet into the gentle current of the river. I always fish while I am canoeing or kayaking down the river. My dad and I usually have a competition to see who can catch the most and biggest fish. I use Rapala lures that mimic a wounded fish. They rhythmically wiggle back and forth in the flowing current. Most of the time, I feel a constant, slight tug from the current on my lure until a big hit occurs. Sometimes this yank is a giant rock that was hiding under the water. Other times it is a giant bass or walleye. Sometimes I'll go all day without catching a fish and other days I will catch twenty fish. Neither day is a bad day because I am on the river spending quality time with my family and friends in the place I love.

perfect day
perfect cast
no bites

Frowns Upside Down

Two summers ago, I worked with children at my local YMCA. Each Thursday we would take the kids on a field trip and one time we went to the zoo. I had a group of five sweet 7-year-old girls. Literally the cutest little girls you would ever see. When we got to the zoo we started walking around to look at the animals but I learned very quickly that we were not going to see all if any animals. All those little girls wanted to do was run around, play in the mist machines, and chase birds that would land nearby. As much as I just wanted to walk around and enjoy seeing all the animals at the zoo, I had brought my own little animals with me. In the moments of chasing those girls around I realized that I needed to let loose and have fun because that's exactly what the girls were doing. I stopped trying to be mature and responsible and just let loose because what good is life when you can't laugh and smile a little! In the middle of our visit, rain poured down on us. The little girls looked at me with frowns on their faces thinking we would have to stop our fun and find shelter. Instead I looked at them and said that no rain could stop us from having a great day at the zoo. Those girls smiled ear to ear and I knew that those little girls were having such a great time. Not only did they have a blast but it was one of the best days for me that summer. I learned that it's alright to monkey around a little bit. No matter if it's a 7-year-old or someone trying to become an adult, we all should stop being stubborn and just enjoy ourselves and those around us.

monkey see
monkey do
and me too

A Cup of Tea

My grandma was a first generation British immigrant. She met my grandpa during World War II when he was on leave in England. After the war they got married and moved to America . I grew up going over to their house just about every Saturday morning for breakfast and tea. My grandma made the best scrambled eggs, but the tea was the best part. She still had her British accent and still made tea the same way she learned how to back home.

Grandpa fought a war
to be with
Grandma

The Pipes Are Calling

I visited England at the end of November and the leaves had fallen from the trees. My family and I flew over, after we heard the news that my grandma had become very sick and wasn't going to make it. When we arrived at my grandparents' house, my grandad wasn't there. The neighbors saw we were locked out and invited us in for tea. The neighbors told us that he went to the nursing home because my grandma had passed away a couple hours ago. Hearing those words, the hair on my arms stood up and I began to cry. I had wanted a chance to see her one last time. A week later, we had the funeral. I remember rolling up to the church in a short limo and seeing the rows of unique gravestones. It was hard for me to believe that my grandma, who was so full of life, was now in the same place as those unknown dead people. At the ceremony, Bible verses were read and some speeches were given. I agreed to go in front of everyone and sing Danny Boy. This was one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced in my life. Performing in front of an audience is hard enough already, but doing it while trying not to burst into tears is even harder. As I stood in front of my family and grandma's friends, I couldn't help but wonder if she was watching me. I kept going because I knew how proud of me she would have been. She always raved about my sister and I to everyone she could. We were her only grandchildren and she was an amazing grandmother to us both.After the ceremony was over, and my grandma had been cremated, people were continually coming up to me. They told me how talented I was, that my grandma would have been incredibly proud of me, and that my singing really touched them. Even though it was a terribly sad day, I learned I am always stronger than I think I am. I can handle tough situations and bring joy to others during hard times.

black limousine
a coffin covered in daffodils
goodbye grandma

Time Travel

A few years back I traveled to Europe. In the middle of our trip, we were traveling on a high-speed rail from Paris, France to Switzerland. I recall the stark contrast of bustling, loud city life to the lull of the countryside. As we wove in and out of the mountains and closer to Lausanne, Switzerland, I remember glancing over at my chaperones—two elderly high school teachers—holding hands and sleeping next to each other on the train. It was a beautifully simplistic moment in a beautiful country. This held true during the entirety of our stay in Switzerland. My favorite moment from our trip was when we decided to take a paddleboat over Lake Geneva. Unfortunately, I wasn't the best paddler of the group, so I sat still on the back of the pedal boat. With the crisp breeze in my face and the Swiss Alps in front of my eyes, I was able to get utterly lost in the beauty of the moment all over again. I imagine that my reaction was similar to that of many others.

paddling over the lake
the Alps twist and curve
into a different era

Ocean Breeze

My great-grandfather on my father's side came from Sicily with his father when he was very youn. My family did not know about until after he had passed away. My great-grandfather, Leon Delano Sr., lived in Nahant, Massachusetts for the majority of his life and that is where he raised my grandfather, Leon Delano Jr., and where my father spent his summers as a child. My father's side of the family has many ties to Nahant including a long-standing friendship with another family that has been in the small island as long as our family has. This past summer the entire Delano family went to visit Nahant to see our family friends and appreciate the place our family has history. While we were there, we wanted to relax, but we wanted to relive some of the activities that our parents did as children there such as climbing the rocks and digging for clams on the beach. The last thing we wanted to do was visit the cemetery where my great-great-grandfather and great-great-grandmother and Leon Delano Sr. and his wife Jenny Delano were buried. I remember the cemetery in Nahant because that was the first time I had ever seen my own last name on a gravestone. Seeing this took me aback and it was very surreal.

digging for clams and
climbing the shore
a gravestone overlooks the ocean

FOMO

I consider myself to be an introvert, and spending a lot of time around people really drains my energy. After a long week of classes, part of me really wants to spend the weekend alone either reading or watching Netflix so I can “recharge.” However, whenever I decide to stay in by myself during the weekend, I end up spending the whole time worrying that I'm missing out on something fun. Then I start to wonder what my friends are up to, and then I start to wonder why they didn't invite me, and I end up going down this spiral of worrying that nobody wants me around, even though I was the one who wanted to be alone in the first place. This didn't start happening until I got to college. I think something about the social experience of college makes me feel like I absolutely have to be doing something fun whatever chance I get, and it makes me feel worried about missing out constantly.

netflix, check
pajamas, check
FOMO, check

Christmas Eve

My mother and I would always disagree and get in fights while I was in middle school and in my later adolescent years. It seemed like she always trying to get me to do something I didn't want to do and I was too stubborn to listen to her. I remember one particular fight very clearly. It was Christmas Eve of all days, and we were getting ready to go to my aunt's house to celebrate like we always did on Christmas Eve. My mom, who hadn't been home until a few hours before we were going to leave, came home to a messy house. Everything you could think of was not in its place, and she was infuriated that we didn't clean the house since we had been home all day and she hadn't. I remember her getting so upset that she started yelling. Being the stubborn kid I am, I told her that we always clean the house and she never appreciates the work we do because she doesn't see it when it happens. The argument got so big that we didn't speak the rest of the night. I remember feeling so guilty the entire day because I had upset her, and I knew it was my fault the entire time, I just hated being yelled at. It was hard for me to sleep that night or even be excited for Christmas day because of that argument. By the time I woke up the next morning, my anger was completely gone. I couldn't even remember why we were angry with each other in the first place, and I realized how much I was taking my life for granted. I had a healthy family and was privileged enough to have a roof over my head and Christmas gifts every year. I immediately apologized to her after that, and it turned out to be one of the best holidays.

middle school
she tries to make me clean
the messy house

Sushi

My Papa and I woke up early one Saturday morning to prepare for a fishing trip. We packed sandwiches, chips, and a couple sodas in a cooler, grabbed our tackle box and fishing rods and hopped into the truck. We arrived at my Papa's friend's pond and prepared to start fishing. We fished all morning long, having minimal luck. We only caught a couple fish but none were big enough fish to keep and eat. When lunch time rolled around I began to get discouraged. However, my Papa, being the positive guy he is, told me not to get discouraged, that we would catch some fish. Surprisingly, that afternoon, we caught many more fish than we did in the morning. It must've been the worms we decided to use! Either that or it was a stroke of good luck, probably the worms though! Once we finally started catching fish that we're edible we had to keep them somewhere so they wouldn't die. We aren't fancy by any means so all we had was a fish stringer. A fish stringer allows the fisherman to string the fish and keep them alive by attaching them to the stringer in the water. By the end of the afternoon we had 9 or 10 fish that we were going to take home to fry. After we packed up our bags to go home, we went to the edge of the pond to get our fish out of the water. We were excited, especially after such a disappointing morning, that we had caught that many fish and were going to be able to eat them for dinner that night. However, when we pulled the stringer out of the water, we had 9 or 10 half-eaten fish, not 9 or 10 good-sized fish that we had put on the stringer early that day. Apparently, the turtles in the pond wanted fish for dinner as well. All the fish that we caught, were gone. Talk about disappointment. That day was one of the most disappointing days I can remember, we struggled in the morning and then once we did catch some fish, the turtles stole them from us. 

no fish
ten fish
a turtle ate our fish

Been There, Done That

Over the summer I worked at a kid's camp. The camp lasted the whole summer so I was with the same group of kids the whole time. The ages of the kids ranged from 6 years old to 11. Every day we would take our group of 30-40 kids on different field trips to zoos, pools, museums, or parks where they could play all day. The kids at the camp were usually less interested in whatever activity we were doing because they had been at the camp for a few years. The younger ones, however, loved everything. I can distinctly remember one day we took the kids to the St. Louis Science Center. As I said, the older kids were bored out of their minds and tried to get through the day. The younger kids found everything amazing. From the dinosaur exhibit, to the space exhibit, and everything in-between, the eyes of the younger children lit up at everything they saw. It was my first time being at the Science Center too, but rather than looking at all of the different exhibits and everything else that was there, I found myself spending the day being entertained by the curiosity and wonder of the kids.

animated dinosaurs
the 11-year old says
whatever