Sabi vs. Karumi Matching Contest - 6 - Fall 2017 • Millikin University

Sabi

on a walk
wishing I had someone
to walk with

Benjamin Maynard

thinking of how far
                we've come
                old running shoes

Austin Taylor

I enjoyed this haiku a lot because I could sense the authors connection to the running shoes. I think that ties into the emotions and feelings of humans very well because people have a strange love of creating connections with things that aren't even alive. Alex P.

This haiku was interesting because the author compared one’s life journey to a pair of running shoes. I thought this metaphor was very clever and I enjoyed it a lot. This haiku could be taken in a positive or negative way as well. I like how the author doesn’t tell the audience much, so we have to imagine the rest. Georgia

deserted road
a flickering street lamp
leads the way

Maya Dougherty

fog covers my car
he parts the gloom
like the red sea

Madeline Delano

I loved this haiku because of its imagery and symbolic message that I got from it. When I read it literally, I picture a car driving through a deserted road in the woods. It is a gray, sad, and depressing day. The surrounding forest actually makes it seem sort of creepy. However, the person driving goes straight through, and it is almost like the fog is slowly clearing a path for the car to go through. It is like the red sea parting in the Bible, and the car is carving a clear path for everything behind it. I also found a deeper meaning to it as well. I imagine that it is a lesson on getting through hard times. Even though this fog, or depression may hang over you, you can make it go away yourself. You have the power to get through tough times and see the clear path ahead. Trey

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thinking of how far
                we've come
                old running shoes

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deserted road
a flickering street lamp
leads the way

 

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thinking of how far
                we've come
                old running shoes

top quarter champion

 

TOP half Chamption

thinking of how far
                we've come
                old running shoes

 

bottom quarter champion

midnight quietness
the dog’s breathing
gets heavy

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midnight quietness
the dog’s breathing
gets heavy

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an empty room
the fly buzzes
around a flickering light

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middle of my prayer
I hear the wind whistle
through the trees

Kalli Farmer

This haiku encapsulated the existential spirit of Sabi haiku very well. I liked the fact that it incorporated the intimacy of the narrators prayer and the juxtaposition of the noise that interrupted the narrator. The wording is also spot-on, in my opinion. The "wind whistling" is so very vivid that I can hear it now. Mackenzie

midnight quietness
the dog’s breathing
gets heavy

Kalli Farmer

an empty room
the fly buzzes
around a flickering light

Trey DeLuna

I really liked this haiku because I could sense the emptiness of the room. The room almost felt emptier than empty, if that makes any sense. The idea that I could hear a fly buzzing is what caused me to get this feeling. While reading this haiku I felt like I was in this room and I felt very alone in this room. Overall, I liked this haiku because it did a great job of portraying the true emptiness of the room. Ben

scratching her head
the light of her laptop
illuminates her face

Madeline Delano

 

TOP half champion

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thinking of how far
                we've come
                old running shoes

 

 

CHAMPION
 

skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

 

 

skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

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BOTTOM half champion

old brick sidewalk
through the cracks
flowering weeds

Lucas Chatterton

I can't help but think of the passage of time with this haiku because plants coming through concrete or solid surfaces like the bricks takes a very long time to happen. Part of seeing the time go by for the plants to emerge was having a visual of everyone that walked on the sidewalk. People that rode bikes, rode skate boards, and all the memories that could have been made there. people could have taught their children to ride bikes on that very sidewalk for decades for it to now give way to nature. Alex H.

crystal vase of flowers
on the table each day,
more petals fall

Lane Casper

the morning glory petals
fold shut
hiding itself from me

Maya Dougherty

I liked this haiku because of the imagery and the tone. I can vividly picture the morning glory flower, and the moment when the petals close in for the day. And the tone of being disappointed about the petals closing is very palpable. I also enjoy how personally the speaker takes the flower closing; they feel that the flower is closing itself to them specifically, and I imagine they are upset about it. Lane

a goldfish floats
belly up
golden scales sparkling

Georgia Martindale

I like this haiku because I think it is interesting how it mentions that the goldfish passes but then describes how it is floating there in a way that is peaceful yet beautiful. Even though the goldfish is no longer alive, it still seems like the owner is still admiring its beauty. Kalli

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crystal vase of flowers
on the table each day,
more petals fall

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a goldfish floats
belly up
golden scales sparkling

 

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a goldfish floats
belly up
golden scales sparkling

top quarter champion

 

BOTTOM half champion

skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

 

bottom quarter champion

skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

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skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

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looking at the shelf
of board games—
he's all alone

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skipping stones
counting the ripples
out loud

Maya Dougherty

I really enjoyed reading this haiku. It makes me think of a time when I was little and my dad was teaching my brother and me how to skip stones. My dad taught us the technique and it turned into a huge competition on who could get the most skips with one rock. We would yell out loud how many we got. This haiku makes me think of a fun memory I had with my father and gives me a competitive feeling after reading it. Austin

This haiku brings out a sense of peace in me whenever I read it. I wanted this one to go all the way in the matching haiku in class.I find it so relaxing visualizing the ripples in the pond. My dad and I when I was little always rode our bikes to the valley and stopped by the river to skip stones. I would be jealous of my dad because he was so much better at it than me. But whenever I skipped rocks we counted and if I got more than three skips it would be such a big accomplishment! And I also like how this haiku can be interpreted by the reader that this person can be by him or herself or with company. Mia

a hummingbird's wings
barely audible
the spring meadow

Trey DeLuna

looking at the shelf
of board games—
he's all alone

Alex Pratt

lying
in a twin size bed
tissues on the nightstand

Trey DeLuna

© 2017, Randy Brooks • Millikin University. All rights returned to authors upon publication.

Karumi

Splash!
The pool ripples and shines
after his cannonball.

Georgia Martindale

playground
the caterpillar
takes his turn down the slide

Kalli Farmer

This was easily my second favorite Karumi matching haiku, as the lighthearted nature of the haiku made it perfect for the lightness of Karumi haiku. I light the personification of a creature you wouldn't necessarily expect to be personified, a caterpillar. I also liked how the author threw in the fact that he waited his turn. Mackenzie

I really enjoyed this haiku because I thought it was cute and kind of goofy. I imagined this as a haiku for grade school aged kids that are in a little story about a caterpillar that teaches kids how to share and take turns. I like the personification of the caterpillar and this haiku makes me smile. Austin

I loved this haiku. I loved the idea that the caterpillar got to enjoy the slide just like all the kids at the playground get to enjoy the slide. I can imagine the caterpillar sitting in the corner of the playground watching all the kids go down the slide wishing he could get just one chance to go down too. Finally, when no one is at the playground it is his moment to shine! He waddles his way over to the slide, climbs the stairs to the top, and enjoys his long-awaited ride down the slide! This haiku made me smile and I love any haiku that can put a smile on my face. Ben

day at the zoo
monkeys plotting
against the visiters

Alex Herrera

waterpark in winter
the wind whistles through
the empty slides

Lane Casper

I really enjoy this haiku for some reason. I find something interesting about waterparks when they are closed for winter, there’s something so eerie and mysterious about it, especially if you picture snow covering the bright colors of the slides. I also like imagining the wind whistling through the slides. I just find something so interesting about seasonal attractions like that, that are so busy for a couple months of the year, but are abandoned for the rest of the year. Maya

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playground
the caterpillar
takes his turn down the slide

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waterpark in winter
the wind whistles through
the empty slides

 

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playground
the caterpillar
takes his turn down the slide

top quarter champion

 

TOP half Chamption

Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

 

bottom quarter champion

Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

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in the corner
of my eye
my childhood skips by

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Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

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M&M’s
roll around
i pick one up and eat it

Madeline Delano

in the corner
of my eye
my childhood skips by

Mia Klek

brushing the horse mane
our breath visible
swirling in front of us

Maya Dougherty

Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

Austin Taylor

I really liked this haiku because I love that pun that is in it. I think it adds a nice light side to the haiku as well as a good humorous moment for the reader. I also like the formatting that the author did for this haiku. Its almost as if the author is trying to tell a really bad joke and is putting a big over exaggerated pause before the punchline. Alex P.

Like many other people in the class, I thought this haiku was hilarious when we first read it, and I still do. The pun is so bad, it's funny. It's also really well written, and most readers would not expect the joke, because it kind of comes out of nowhere. I definitely think this haiku is humorous, and since I am not very good at writing humorous haiku, I appreciate the author's ability to successfully write a “dad joke” in the form of a haiku. Lane

I liked this haiku because it was humorous and fun overall. I also enjoyed the use of the pun. This haiku seems to fit the nature of Karumi well. I liked the author’s strategy of keeping the haiku light and fun. Georgia

I love a good humorous haiku. The punchline is fun and unexpected. I originally thought it was going to be just a typical nature haiku, but they made a pepper plant become a very funny joke. Maddy

 

TOP half champion

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Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

 

 

CHAMPION

Spring frost
my pepper plant
             got a little chili

 

 

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BOTTOM half champion

key to the gate
the spoken word
also a deadbolt

Alex Herrera

a dolphin’s blowhole
the window
to my soul

Madeline Delano

I fiddle with
my ring
it catches the light

Lucas Chatterton

I like this haiku because of the word choice. I think using the word fiddle in this context is very descriptive and accurate to describing the person’s actions. Also with the personification of the ring catching the light I think it describes it very well. Kalli

still hooked on my shirt
slimy fish scent
from vacation

Austin Taylor

I thought this haiku was very well written in the way that the scent is hooked to the shirt in a way that it cannot leave it because of the activities that they did during the vacation. The way that they tied together the haiku with fishing without saying anything about the activity of fishing itself is fantastic. Alex H.

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a dolphin’s blowhole
the window
to my soul

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still hooked on my shirt
slimy fish scent
from vacation

 

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still hooked on my shirt
slimy fish scent
from vacation

top quarter champion

 

BOTTOM half champion

lurking cat
the labrador snoozes with
eyes half open

 

bottom quarter champion

lurking cat
the labrador snoozes with
eyes half open

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slow afternoon
they walk through the park
bread for the pigeons

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lurking cat
the labrador snoozes with
eyes half open

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taking a stroll
in the distance
sleigh bells

Madeline Delano

slow afternoon
they walk through the park
bread for the pigeons

Mackenzie Martin

crash of the waves
I drift off to sleep with
sand between my toes

Trey DeLuna

lurking cat
the labrador snoozes with
eyes half open

Austin Taylor

I think this haiku is super funny. I really appreciate the word lurking. I think it gives the whole haiku and character and makes me want to read what happens next. I also like the word snoozes in the second line as it describes perfectly how a big dog sleeps in my mind. And the fact the the dog knows that the cat is there and really wants to sleep but knows the cat might fool around with him. So in my head I picture the dog trying to make it look like he’s ignoring the cat to see if that will make the cat go away but is also keeping one eye open for that chance the cat will try something with him. Mia

© 2017, Randy Brooks • Millikin University. All rights returned to authors upon publication.