rubbing on
the sore muscles
i smile.
Karlee VanDeVelde |
sweat drips
muscles tense
one more pushup
Tory Hennessey |
lying on the bench
hands clenched
breaking records
Lindsey Williams |
the barbell raises
over and over—
and never enough
Dalton Kaufmann |
rubbing on
the sore muscles
i smile. |
the barbell raises
over and over—
and never enough |
|
rubbing on
the sore muscles
i smile.
top
quarter champion |
|
TOP half Chamption
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
|
bottom
quarter champion
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
|
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
|
not giving in—
need. to. stop.
the brain says
|
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
Jess Brooks |
looking down
the lack of abs
is laughable
Jess Brooks |
pace after pace
the jogger keeps
pushing forward
Tory Hennessey |
not giving in—
need. to. stop.
the brain says
Karlee VanDeVelde |
|
TOP
half champion
|
|
CHAMPION
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
|
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
BOTTOM
half champion |
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
Tory Hennessey |
headphones in
calm soothing voice
mind at peace
Lindsey Williams |
classical music
the rest of the world
disappears
Anna Marie Abbate |
soft wood
four strings and a bow
my escape
Anna Marie Abbate |
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day |
classical music
the rest of the world
disappears |
|
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
top
quarter champion |
|
BOTTOM
half champion
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
|
bottom
quarter champion
I took a pain pill—
yet, you
are still here
|
clinched nose
down goes
the drink
|
I took a pain pill—
yet, you
are still here
|
fruit smoothie
she can’t remember
if she’s added the rum yet
Jess Brooks |
clinched nose
down goes
the drink
Alex Dorchinecz |
I took a pain pill—
yet, you
are still here
Simone Griffis |
cup of pills
her shaking hands
a dwindling life
Rachel Ives |
© 2015, Randy Brooks • Millikin University. All rights returned to authors upon publication.
rubbing on
the sore muscles
i smile.
Karlee VanDeVelde |
sweat drips
muscles tense
one more pushup
Tory Hennessey |
lying on the bench
hands clenched
breaking records
Lindsey Williams |
the barbell raises
over and over—
and never enough
Dalton Kaufmann |
I found this pair interesting as the two haiku had polar opposites images. I pictured the sense of accomplishment and the feeling of proudness associated with the first haiku. The person is making progress to their goal, whether it is to lose weight or gain muscle. I have a vivid image of the person massage the legs or the pecks and moaning as the feeling of soreness is released. This sigh has two different meanings to me—the sigh of the muscles repairing itself and the sigh of triumph. The second haiku is the process of reaching the goal. The determination, hard work, and feeling of tiredness as the person is pushing him or herself to do one more pushup. As a person who likes to work out, I know the feeling of this crucial time in the workout. This is where you get stronger, but pushing yourself. So, you have one haiku, which shows the process of working out, and the other shows the end result—polar opposites. In my opinion, the first haiku should win. I believe this because I have a clear image of the action of the haiku. I can also feel the feeling of the soreness in the muscles and hear the sighs and moans as the rubbing occurs. I can see the smile and feel the adrenaline rush because the person knows he or she is one step closer to her goal. Also, who doesn’t like the feeling of accomplishment? Karlee |
|
|
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
Jess Brooks |
looking down
the lack of abs
is laughable
Jess Brooks |
pace after pace
the jogger keeps
pushing forward
Tory Hennessey |
not giving in—
need. to. stop.
the brain says
Karlee VanDeVelde |
I know it’s kind of weird that I chose my own haiku here that battled in the matching contest but the two together were one of my favorite comparisons (and not because they were mine). I just think it’s funny how the two matched up and ironic that they are kind of approaching the same subject but in totally different ways. The first one about the scale is very serious and emotional and it brings your gaze down to your feet while the second one is playful and laughable even though your gaze is going to the same place. I just liked that they had the same motion and perspective going on but with completely different tones and emotions that come out of them. In the end the scale one won the whole contest and that was pretty cool for me but I think I would have chosen the second one myself. I just like how it has a lighter heart and a more accepting spirit and maybe I only like that one better because of my spirit of recovery right now but I just enjoy it more and think it’s one of the better haiku I’ve written so far in this class. Jess |
|
|
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
Jess Brooks |
rubbing on
the sore muscles
i smile.
Karlee VanDeVelde |
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
Anna Marie |
she steps on the scale
her hope
at her feet
Jessica Brooks |
I liked that they both had to do with the post effects of putting in physical work. the first finds satisfaction in their sore muscles. The other is awaiting the results of her weight after working out. I chose the scale one because it seems more realistic to me. I have been in both situations and to me the smiling over sore muscles is much more of a silent appreciation. Sore muscles "hurt so good" you appreciate them because they tell the body you're on the right track. But at the same time they are still very nagging. I just felt the fear or anxiousness of the girl standing on the scale. Although a person should never judge their physical development on weight it provides a powerful image. Dalton |
The haiku written by Anna Marie was very admirable. This is because while it has been very cold these last few days, I have thought about nothing more than hot tea and hot chocolate. This is because having a nice warm drink can in fact be soothing especially during the winter season. I feel that the student was really thinking about how comforting a warm drink can be and may also be very useful when trying to focus and relax one's nerves during stressful circumstances. Overall, I feel that this haiku was well written and the rhythm also catches a reader's attention.
The haiku written by Jessica Brooks makes a person think a little bit more and try to put themselves in another person's shoes. In fact, it can be quite helpful to see what may have caused a person to have hope when stepping on the scale but the idea of letting the reader think about the concept is very helpful and engaging.
Both of the haiku present a message that students can easily discuss and make their own personal interpretations. However, the difference between the two is the Anne Marie's haiku is more straight forward than Jessica's haiku. One makes us guess more as an audience and causes us to make a variety of assumptions that could be occurring at that particular point in time. Whereas, the other can be simplified into one statement that presents an emotion that is very common. Simone |
cold starry night
hot cocoa soothes
the stress of the day
Tory Hennessey |
headphones in
calm soothing voice
mind at peace
Lindsey Williams |
classical music
the rest of the world
disappears
Anna Marie Abbate |
soft wood
four strings and a bow
my escape
Anna Marie Abbate |
For this match, I really liked the first one. I picked that one because I am not really a headphone type person. I’m more of a sit in my chair by the window and stare at the stars sipping on a hot cup of tea or coffee. That is what puts me in my calm, happy place. I like to sit and reflect on my thoughts in peace and quite and whatever comes into my mind, sort through it. I’ve never been a person to turn to music to put myself at ease, I love my peace and quite. Alex
I love both of these equally because they take me to different but amazing places. I can vividly imagine both of these. I like that they both use the same feeling, have the same sound, and use the term sooth. Rachel |
Both are relatable to me. The second one I see with dancing by listening to a piece of music and letting the rest of the world disappear. And the first one shows me the love of the violin and how music can take you somewhere else for a while just like a book can with some people a violin can take me to another place until the piece is over then I come back to reality. Anna Marie |
fruit smoothie
she can’t remember
if she’s added the rum yet
Jess Brooks |
clinched nose
down goes
the drink
Alex Dorchinecz |
I took a pain pill—
yet, you
are still here
Simone Griffis |
cup of pills
her shaking hands
a dwindling life
Rachel Ives |
|
|
I enjoyed this match up in the match competition because they both can be taken so many ways. I love haiku that can be interpreted in many different ways. It give the reader the freedom to imagine their own scenarios and the next reader to develop a completely different one. In the first haiku, I interpreted it as a suffering person from a break up, as if taking the pill would ease the pain of the relationship, but since the person is still in their life they cannot get rid of the pain. I love the meanings behind it and how it could also be taken on a lighter note of a person having a head ache because of an annoying person, taking a Tylenol or something and saying “oh, you’re still here?”
In the second haiku, I pictured an old woman, taking her daily medication, hands shaking as her health declines. She is so close to death yet she continues to take medication in hopes of continuing on. Her life is dwindling fast, and no one is there for her. To me, it’s a very heartbreaking haiku, but it pulls me in to imagine this life.
Personally I think the first haiku above should “win”. Although both are amazing haiku, the first can be interpreted in many different ways, one being a more sullen interpretation, the other a light-hearted funny interpretation. I enjoy the haiku that can be taken in so many ways and lights. It is very entertaining to be able to look at a haiku and interpret it in two totally opposite ways. Tory
I thought that these two haiku were an interesting match because I feel like that both could resemble a person experiencing a lot of pain emotionally. I picture a person taking these pills in order to attempt suicide. I really like the second haiku because it gives more of a visual and a feeling than the first one does. Lindsey |