Haiku to Edit 1

Global Haiku • Millikin University • July 2016

Four edit actions: cut unneccesary words, add context (setting, time), replace for better images, & rearrance the furniture.


freshly painted toes
apple flavored lip gloss smile
filled with a peanut butter day

apple lip gloss
and cherry red toenails
peanut butter lunch

apple flavored lip gloss
freshly painted toes
a peanut butter day

Michelle Hosapple

painted toes
lip gloss smile
slow day

apple lip gloss
freshly painted toes
peanut butter day

lip gloss smile
red painted toes
filled with a peanut butter day

painted toes
apple flavored lip gloss
peanut butter day!

peanut butter day,
painted toes
apple lip gloss


my kayak gliding on water
crystal clear waters
fish swim on by

kayak gliding
on crystal clear water
fish swim below

Zacahery Cronister

clear water
kayak gliding
fish swim by

fish swimming
kayak gliding
clear blue water

kayak glides
crystal clear waters
fish below

kayak gliding on water
         crystal clear
fish swim below

 

 


Fireworks
Red white and blue
Independence

Independence Day
Red white and blue
Fireworks

Independence Day!
Red! White! Blue!
FireWorks

Independence Day
Fireworks
Red! White! Blue!

dark night
ooohs and ahhhs
kiss

   Re          s
 i     w     k    !
F        or         !

Marshaya Sangster

Independence
enjoying fireworks
red, white and blue

The Red, White, Blue
fireworks celebrating
Independence


As we sit on the porch
Peaceful afternoon
A father's advice

a quiet afternoon
sitting on the porch
father's advice

sitting on the porch
my father's advice
afternoon

peaceful afternoon
sitting on the porch
father's advice

Zacahery Cronister

porch swing sways
the afternoon passing
father's advice

peaceful afternoon
a fathers advice
as we sit on the porch

father's hand on my shoulder
a warm breeze carries
his advice


lighten lanterns call in
ships in the night
for troubled wife's

ships in the night
lanterns shine bright
for troubled wife's

troubled wife's
ships lost
lanterns shine bright

ships in the night
lanterns calling
wives await

wives on the shore
ships in the night
lanterns calling

ships in the night
lanterns shine bright
for the wives

Michelle Hosapple



carousel
monkeys, lions & zebras
as the music plays

music plays
monkeys, lions, and zebras
carousel

carousel music
monkeys, lions, and zebras
round and round we go

music playing
riding monkeys and lions
on the carousel

riding monkeys and lions
on the carousel
as the music plays

riding monkeys and lions
on the carousel
the music slows down

Amanda Ferguson



still of the night
broken by a clamour
just the cats

trash can crashes
in the middle of the night
that darn cat

still of the night
a clamour of pots & pans
just the cats

Bill Fields

 

 

 

 


turtles in the mud
river waters high
log cabin

river water high
turtles in the mud
at the log cabin

muddy turtles
high river waters
log cabin

old log cabin
the river flows
muddy turtles

high river waters
turtles in the mud
I shall rest in the cabin

high river waters
turtle in the mud
log cabin

log cabin
river waters high
turtles in the mud

Darla Laymon

 


ice creams
warm sunny days
whip cream on her nose

ice cream sundae
after church
whip cream on her nose

warm sunny day
sundae on her face
whip cream on nose

Amanda Ferguson

warm sunny day
ice cream sundae
whip cream on her nose

hot days
sundaes
whip cream on her face

whip cream on her nose
warm sunny day
ice cream

sunny day
whip cream on her nose
ice cream sundae

ice cream sundae
whip cream on her nose
sunny day

dipped cones
sunny days
relaxation



hanging by a thread
good news arrives
a glimmer of hope

in a hospital bed
a glimmer of hope
good news arrives

About to give up
good news arrives
hope

Bethany Wetherholt

Giving up
News arrives
Hope springs forth


Christmas day
opening boxes
his hazel eyes smile at me

Christmas day
opening boxes
his hazel eyes smile

Jennifer Tohill

his hazel eyes smile
while opening boxes
Christmas day


family
with grandma and grandpa
summer vacation

summer vacation
with grandma and grandpa
afternoon nap, again

Sonja Chargois

summer vacation
with grandma and grandpa
fairs and festivals

summer vacation
family reunion
with grandma and grandpa


yellow rain ponchos
awestruck wonder
Horseshoe waterfall

Horseshoe Falls
single file into the mist
yellow rain ponchos

yellow rain slickers
my son an awestruck mime
beneath Horseshoe Falls

so small
beneath Horseshoe Falls
yellow ponchos

Cristine Lourash



flooding river banks
people scurrying around
running from the cabin

running form the cabin
people scurrying
flooding river

flooded river
people scurrying
around the cabin

Darla Laymon


early morning
cleaning house
before starting the day

yawn
Pine Sol
errands

Marshaya Sangster

sunrise on the horizon
           yawning
as I start my daily chores

before the day starts
sunrise on the horizon
daily chores


© 2016, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.