Haiku Seeking Edits & Response 2

Haiku Writing Roundtable--Haiku Attempts 2, PACE January 2005

a peaceful cold
children laughing
as they go down the hill

or

the laughter of children
down the hill . . .
snowing again

falling leaves
rake in hand
a little boy laughs

drip
drip
sounds of winter complete

or

drip
drip
sounds of winter dying

the tent flutters
in the icy wind
the piper walks slowly away

or

graveside tent flutters
in the icy wind
the piper walks slowly away

the dog sniffs among the plants
the rabbit hurtles out
I scream

the copper roof on the bird house
softly reflects the sun
the baby flies

cold winter night
snow begins to fall
salt trucks fueling up

or

cold winter night
snow begins to fall
salt trucks fuel up

cold winter night
salt trucks fueling up
as snow begins to fall

hot summer day
hair like wool
mother gets the pressing comb

hair like wool
on a hot summer day
mother gets the pressing comb

summer holidays
homemade BBQ sauce
girls jump double-dutch

or

fourth of July:
fireworks,
girls jump double-dutch

Fourth of July
        fireworks
girls jump double-dutch

Dee Woods

frost on window
snow angels
in the moonlight

or

frost on window
snow angels dancing
in the moonlight

frost on the window
snow angels
in the moonlight

rebirds singing
the smell of
lilac

bed of color
fawn and its
mother

or

bed of color
fawn and her
mother

spring
flowers in bloom
little hands pick from the neighbor

or

spring flowers bloom
as tiny little hands
create a bouquet

spring flowers bloom
as little hands
pick from the garden

neighbor's blooming flowers
as tiny little hands
make selective selections

spring flowers
little hands
pick from neighbor's garden

indian summer heat
bicycle
gets harder to pedal

or

indian summer heat
bicycle
harder to pedal home

Marcia Gordon

into the bitter cold
Grandpa brings
more wood from the shack

or

the bitter cold
Grandpa brings
more wood from the shack

autumn leaves
smell of breakfast
cinnamon fills the senses

or

cinnamon
autumn leaves mimic the smell
of breakfast

days are shorter
flowers stand tall
awaiting their final performance

blue
color fills the sky
sky lives in my son's eyes

or

blue fills the sky
sky lives
in my son's eyes

soaking up summer sun
stained skin
worshippers beware

pink and yellow tulips
early Easter morning
hoping to be picked

or

early Easter morning
pink and yellow tulips
hoping to be picked

Jenifer Hagen



© 2005, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.