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cold
winter night Josh Lane |
lost
love . . . Dee Wood |
weightless Willa Heath |
summer
moon Marcia Gordon |
| When I first looked at these I thought they were completely different in their meaning. But after looking again I noticed the similarities of looking at pictures from scrapbooks and faded photos. I first took the lost love as someone who was living in the past and not moving forward in life, but actually I can see someone looking at old pictures of a parent or grandparent and feeling the love that was lost due to their death. Glen |
In the first haiku, I can imagine as though I am there in an ocean floating and feeling weightless. I love the first line that just simply states “weightless” and one can assume about a million things that identify with weightless, but I did immediately start imagining a blue sky and clouds surrounding me. After the second verse, automatically the ocean appears in my mind. Then it goes on to say “I breathe”, how wonderful that verse is and could mean so many things to different people. This Haiku is very refreshing and I love the way it flows so nicely. The second haiku gives me a feeling of peace. I am lying on a beach somewhere warm (could be anywhere anyone wanted it to be) and I am lying stretched out in the cool sand. The moon is full and bright above me and I can hear sounds of the ocean crashing against a wave. The weather is perfect; I do not feel hot or cold. I just feel comfortable. My mind is empty and I feel as though I could drift off to sleep. The stress of the week before is lifted and I feel nothing but inner peace. These two Haiku seem to come from the same inner thought, but in reality they are two separate haiku and not at all similar. The image wants to be somewhere warm and beautiful with ocean sounds all around you. In the first Haiku, I can feel the waves actually moving me back and forth. However, in the second Haiku, I am on dry land and can only hear the waves crashing against each other. I am comfortable in both and feel inner peace. Marcia |
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lost love . . . In lost love I get the feeling that someone reminisces about a former relationship. It’s a moment of looking back. The love was shared and photographed for prosperity. It was good and worth the moment of remembrance. flickering candles In the second, the love felt is betrayed love. Someone has put effort into an evening of candlelight and romance, but is left longing and wondering. This love will be remembered with remorse rather than loving recollection. Jen |
top
quarter champion =
weightless |
It was tough for me to make a decision when it came to these because of emotion. I get emotion form both. Reading the weightless haiku I could feel it and I liked the way weightless was on the line by itself to make you pause and to separate that one feeling. And I was able to move right from that thought to of weightless to imagine myself floating because I was weightless. Flickering took over for me for two reasons. I liked this because flickering candles is very suggestive. I get the visual of watching candles flicker. I enjoyed since it was mine but when Josh added a different twist on how he interrupted it I liked it more. When I wrote the haiku I was thinking the woman was doing wrong. She was with a man that was the betrayal and it was for that one night only. I liked Josh’s view of thinking the woman was up waiting for her husband and this was the last time she was going to do this. Dee |
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top half champion =
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bottom quarter champion = flickering
candles |
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snowy
night Josh Lane |
storm
coming Glen Sims |
flickering
candles Dee Woods |
the new
moon Jenifer Hagen |
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top half champion =
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champion =
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bottom half champion =
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Hawaiian
warmth Josh Lane |
wind
blowing… Glen Sims |
a newborn
sleeps Jenifer Hagen |
autumn
chill Marcia Gordon |
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top quarter champion = Hawaiian
warmth |
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bottom half champion =
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bottom quarter champion = rainy
evening |
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rainy
evening Marcia Gordon |
father
and son Glen Sims |
warm
summer evening Josh Lane |
at the
bottom of the hill Willa Heath |
| I believe these to haiku are definitely a matched pair. The thoughts of mothers, daughters, fathers, and sons taking the time to bond in their natural element is so fitting. I don't feel much connection with the nature element other than giving me the setting. The real story is the bonding. Take those two out of context and there really is no meaning. My example is in the first poem, if you put a mother and son rolling dough, the reader would definitely be lost. The same goes for the father and daughter out on the lake fishing. Although, these things probably do happen, it is more fitting the way the two poems are written. Josh | |||
© 2005, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.