Haiku to Edit 1

Global Haiku • Millikin University • November 2012

Cut unnecessary words.
Add more context or sensory content.
Rearrange the furniture.
Replace (cut and add) to enrich & strengthen.

Haiku are rarely complete sentences. Often verbless. Avoid shopping list haiku. We want phrasing & music. Give us pause.

trumpets
in the convertible
makes him smile

trumpets
in the convertible
his smile

 

 


salty tears
on the cheek
military wife

water running
lathered soap
tight curls

Red Truck
Country dirt roads and music
Daddy and I

 

 

 


dressing room
place on a pedestal
mother's tears

slippers on . . .
warm cup of tea
in hand


little boys on the bench
strikeouts and homeruns
life lessons

 

 

 


laughter all around
diving boards and slides
whistles

fresh fallen snow
angels
hot chocolate

 

papers cover
the wood desk
weighing me down

 

 

 


summer night
cool ripe tomatoes
salt shaker

skinny dipping
cold dirty lake water
bubbles arise

 

poker parties at the big round table
Grandma's house
little me

 

 

 


drifting snow
whistling wind in the attic
warmth of the fire

fresh fallen snow
cookies baking
grandma's house

© 2012, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.