Haiku to Edit 1
Global Haiku • Millikin University • November 2012
Cut unnecessary words.
Add more context or sensory content.
Rearrange the furniture.
Replace (cut and add) to enrich & strengthen.
Haiku are rarely complete sentences. Often verbless. Avoid shopping list haiku. We want phrasing & music. Give us pause.
Author's favorite is indicated in bold.
trumpets trumpets
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salty tears On her cheek on her cheek salty tears |
water running lathering soap soap lathers |
Red Truck Country red Chevy dirt roads dirt roads and music Red Truck red truck |
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slippers on . . . slippers on . . . slippers on. . .
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little boys on the bench strikeouts little boys on the bench little boys at the plate Little boys on the bench |
laughter all around laughter diving boards Whistles and laughter |
fresh fallen snow hot chocolate fresh fallen
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papers cover papers weighing me down wood desk wood desk |
summer night ripe tomatoes cool ripe tomatoes summer night Front porch steps on a summer night |
skinny dipping skinny dipping skinny dipping |
poker parties at the big round table Grandma's big table poker party poker parties
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drifting snow drifitng snow whistling wind Snow adrift drifting snow Whistling wind
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fresh fallen snow freshly fallen snow Grandma's house cookies fresh snow fresh snow snow Fresh fallen snow |
© 2012, Randy Brooks Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.