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long slim needle anticipation grows blazing campfire Jennifer Rule (8) This kukai is full of great haiku, so it was difficult to decide which two I wanted to write response paragraphs to. This campfire haiku struck me because of the way the author took advantage of the page along with the language. The line “wehuddleclose” is perfect for giving the reader an even more intense vision. I see a couple around my age camping. It is dark and the night is cool. They are silent, enjoying the night and each other’s company. As they get closer together, not only is there a spark from the fire, but they feel something happen inside of themselves. They realize how much they really care about each other. I like the image and the format. —Katie Steimann I really enjoy the way the words “we huddle close” are set up so tightly together, with no spaces in between. This really emphasizes the lack of room between whoever is huddled. I imagine a group of maybe five on a camping trip. They expected the night weather to be warmer than it actually was and ended up freezing most of the night. So now this group is cramped together under sleeping bags sharing the warmth from the fire and from each other’s body heat. All of a sudden an electric shock from all the friction sends the group jumping up with surprise! I almost want to see an exclamation point at the end of this haiku because it is such a strong image. —Sylvia Hilton I love the visual aspect of the second line in this haiku. “We huddle close” is all crammed together into one word, showing us the physical closeness that these two people share right now. And I read “…a spark” in two different ways. One way, I can see a spark shooting out of the fire towards them; it frightens them and they jump apart, destroying the moment. However, the “spark” might also be the romantic interest shared by the pair – the spark that ignites a new relationship. (This second reading is how I think the author probably intended it.) —Jenny Schultz |
sand between their toes summer evening Megan Minogue (5) a cold drizzle red rose church looks like pencil tapping 7th inning stretch . . . blanket spread |
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midnight beach walk Maureen Ritter (7) the family's loss Maureen Ritter (4) candle's flame Maureen Ritter When I read this haiku I can only imagine two strangers in a room filled with darkness. The one candle’s flame leaves just enough light for each person to see the outlines of the other’s face. Silently they both memorize the curves of each others face, and deep within they are entranced. This is one of those movie moments that I only dream about. —Casey Turnipseed |
harsh illumination: warm quilt Nick Curry ant infestation— Jenny Schultz (3) fresh cut grass empty bedroom bouquet of bright daisies |
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on the L you get swallowed
Alida Duff (4) I love the simplicity of this haiku. It presents a clear image, and reminds me of my dad reminiscing about this sort of activity, something in which I myself never took part. —Nick Curry lovers emerge mom’s Marlboro’s on the park bench Maureen Coady (3) towel wrapped tight
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fresh cut
grass Alida Duff The imagery and color used in this haiku is amazing. Each line conveys a new and separate idea that works so well with the others. I am reminded of having to mow our own lawn and how the lush grass always stained my feet when I was done. We also have mulberry trees on our property, so not only were my feet green, but they were purpley-black as well. There are clear smells present in this haiku as well: obviously the fresh cut grass, but maybe also a lingering scent of gasoline from the lawn mower. It’s a great summery haiku. —Ann Anderson small town Alida Duff (12) I think that is a humorous haiku, for we usually don't associate traffic jams with small town living. I picture this happening in a small rural town without stop lights or even stop signs. This haiku proves clear imagery of the town, street, and tractor driving through what I picture as the down town. I can see the tourists amazed as the tractor travels down Main Street. —Jennifer Toney I really like this haiku because it is a situation that everyone can relate to on some level. Upon reading, I automatically imagined myself on my way down South to Carbondale on highway 51. When you take this route, you are basically on country roads the whole time and go through at least a dozen small towns before you get there. Every time I go, I get slowed down or stopped by something like this haiku implies. Nine times out of ten it’s a huge John Deere tractor making its way down the highway going God knows where. Usually you get stuck behind dozens of other cars who are obviously afraid to pass him for some reason, so you end up just waiting in line with the rest of them. I hate it when this happens because I hate driving slow and being in a lot of traffic. Keep the damn John Deere’s off the highway. —Ben Kress Growing up in farm country has definitely made me familiar with this experience! It’’s always the worst when you’re in a hurry and there’s a combine in the road that’s far too wide to pass, so you really do have to wait for it to turn in order to regain your speed. Alida did a good job of setting up the haiku. The first two lines create a curious thought, and then the break and final line bring it all together with a lot of reality and a bit of humor. Great haiku!—Leigh Kitchell |
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rising sun white beach Tony Douglass This haiku has a lot of imagery and color throughout. I liked the image i got from the white beah contrasting with the colored sea shells. This haiku also put me in a beautiful setting, a place not visitied much at all. It almost made me think that i was on the beach all by myself. The setting that this haiku created is very simple, yet distinctive. I am ready for summer to start, so this haiku, just put me in the mood. —Brianne Dilbeck lonely night phone ringing breeze in my face dishes pilled up |
moonlight— Jenny Schultz (4) This haiku is fun because I can imagine my aunt’s big old oak tree that we would climb in the summer and fall. The tree itself is so huge and full of life that it becomes a friend in a way. I am able to see how the branches and leaves come to life in the moonlight when we are asleep and all other creatures come to life. The puppet show is the tree’s way of playing or dancing if you will while waiting for us (my family) to awaken the next morning to play yet again. —Casey Turnipseed moving day— Jenny Schultz (12) I like the metaphor that is used in this poem. When you think of moving day, you think lots of hustle and bustle. It must be crazy and frantic, but this one moment seems to stand alone. Time appears to be stopped to pay precious attention to a certain thing that hold great value to the mover. This haiku does not really engage any of my senses that drastically; however, it creates a great mood. I can really picture this happening, like something you would read in a summer novel or artsy movie. —Molly Pufall Ok, so I know Jenny wrote “moving day” but I really feel this is one of the best haiku of the semester that I have seen in a kukai. I love this one because she brings us to just the exact moment when the narrator is packing the “memory” and is reflecting on how much it means. This double reflection isn't uncommon in her work because she tends to put us in the moment when the narrator is reflecting on something. This haiku is full of happiness, sadness, and just about everything in between. It just a beautiful moment captured perfectly. —Travis Meisenheimer cherry blossoms: |
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water splashing Leigh Kitchell (7) I really like this haiku because it is from the frog’s perspective. I would never think to examine a stream from the frog’s perspective, but this haiku makes me analyze it and come to the realization that just a small stream splashing over a branch, would be like the giant falls of Niagara to the frog. This haiku makes me think of spring and new life. I have on suggestion. For me at least, it would be more affective if it was formatted like this. — Katie Steimann water
splashing over I’m one of those people, that if there is any room for word play, I like to take advantage of it. I like that in this format “over” is literally over “a branch.” — Katie Steimannn his platform Leigh Kitchell (4) hopscotch Leigh Kitchell (9) This haiku gives my senses a shock because it is so alive! The sidewalk seems very wet and dark, like it always is after a big rain. And the hopscotch that was drawn with chalk is melting down the driveway in bright bold streaks of color. Even though you are sad to see your creation disappearing, it was always neat to me, as a child and now, to see to change of color in the chalk when it became wet. The colors seemed to be magnified. I can also feel the texture of the soft, chalky residue when reading this haiku. —Molly Pufall This poem paints a beautiful portrait of spring rain. I love the visual imagery that it provides with the “colored rain.” I can see some young children coming indoors after their game of hopscotch was rained out. Just before they reach the door, they turn to see the pastels of their sidewalk chalk streaming down to the curb below the driveway. It is a beautiful image that captures the purity and playfulness of youth. I really enjoyed this haiku. —Alida Duff |
a couch on the porch, spring night the smoke Casey Wilen I had a moment like this the other day. It is such a cool sight to see the smoke going through the sun rays when they are coming in the window. I likes the phrasing of this haiku very much. The word dances fits this image very well. —Colby Hanik from the neck of the oak Molly Pufall (4) There are some very interesting words used in this haiku to describe a very simple nature scene. The word “neck” to describe the trunk of the oak really personifies the tree and gives the image a fresh approach. The same is done with “layers” to describe the thickness of the moss and “blanket” rather than simply “cover the bark”. It really gives this tree life and importance. —Sylvia Hilton delicious breeze Molly Pufall (7) around the cove |
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piercing pain cool dew Benny Hooper (5) Many senses are affected by this haiku. Of course seeing a visual image is the first reaction to most haiku. I can see the fog covering the ground and the dew on the grass. I can see the light blue of the early morning sky and the dark green of the trees and grass. Familiar with early morning golf, I can feel the humidity as the sun rises and quicky heats the day. In this particular poem, I can feel the tiredness that the early game will bring. Jennifer Toney This reminds me of summers in our country club. While I myself am a terrible golfer, my father and my many uncles are hard-core golfers, and they sometimes like to take out their kids and play (Personally, I think they place bets on whose kids are the worst…) Anyway, once, our tee time was quite early in the morning and the sun was barely out and my sisters and I were nearly falling asleep in the carts. But the course was really cold because of all the dew, so we were shivering as well. I’m pretty confident that we played horribly. —Ann Anderson belly up |
grabbing for I inhale we kissed tonight Colby Hanik (4) This Haiku is all too familiar for me. It makes me think about one of the many nights when too much alcohol has been consumed, and I have kissed a girl. I can remember on more than one occasion where after kissing she turns and asks, “what’s my name?”, to which I have no answer. It is very funny but very unfortunate of a situation to be put. On one hand it is always fun to make out with a random girl once I’m drunk. On the other hand, it is awfully embarrassing to forget the girls name, and have her call you out. This Haiku brought a big smile to my face because of how much I can relate to it. —Benny Hooper |
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snowball fight sunset over the water first date Cliff Alut (9) I really enjoyed this senryu’s ability to capture the awkwardness of a first date. This poem embodies the initial giddiness of a first date that is the conglomeration of nervousness and excitement and anticipation all combined with the inadequacy of wondering what is to come. Almost all of us have been on a first date and questioned what to do with ourselves. I envision a young high school couple on their first date to the movies. The boy wants to hold her hand, but just doesn’t know if she’s ready for that. He doesn’t want to seem too pushy. The entire time she thinks to herself, ‘why doesn’t he hold my hand already?!?’ Sneakily, she rests her hand loosely on the armrest hoping he’ll finally get the hint. —Alida Duff This is a great image. I think this is one of the most awkward things about a first date. It’s the time when you are testing the limits to see what is acceptable. You may want to hold the girl’s hand, but you’re not sure if it is ok yet. Then you think she sends you a sign, but maybe it’s not and then you tell yourself to stop over analyzing everything. But it’s too late and you’re hands gently meet, but not on purpose. So, instinctively you back your hand away, but then try to go back because it was about to happen, but now it’s too late. So, it’s a confusing thing. —Colby Hanik I liked this haiku as well as because as college students, most everyone has experienced a first date with someone and the awkwardness and nervousness with the first date. I could totally picture a guy so nervous with his first date and wanting to hold her hand or put his arm around her but not knowing how to make the move. I really enjoyed the humor and emotion in this haiku as well because I’m sure that most of us can relate to a similar situation! —Jennifer McGeehon tabby cat purrs Maureen Ritter (2)
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bartender’s last call . . . Ben Kress (2) shuffling through
a crowd Ben Kress I think I have written about “shuffling through a crowd” before, but regardless each time I read this one I laugh. I really like the play on the word “stumble” because it helps us see just how drunk the narrator is and that they are perhaps not that far from becoming that which they stumble over—a passed out drunk. This is one of the funnier haiku of the semester I believe. —Travis Meisenheimer secluded camping . . . Ben Kress (3) proudly perched Sylvia Hilton between the tree stumps Sylvia Hilton (5) |
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alone time local bar heart beat the old willow autumn night next to the bonfire Valentine’s day faceless crowd Ann Anderson (6) This haiku is very successful in capturing a delicate moment that is a common human experience. And it does so with grace and simplicity. The temptation to gush about situations like this is overwhelming, and sometimes gets the best of all of us, but this haiku conjures images of recognizing a special person among multitudes, and yet remains delightfully ambiguous. —Nick Curry |
homemade card Jennifer Toney (8) Since i am writing this on mothers day, i found it fitting to pick this haiku. I can remember numerous times when i made cards for my mother, i thought they were teh greatest presents ever. Homemade cards are so special especially to mothers. It never mattered what the card looked like, mom always liked the art. This haiku definitely reminded me of my mom and I, and how i made cards for her, not only for mothers day, but for others holidays as well. This was a simple yet very personal haiku for any reader. —Brianne Dilbeck this haiku reminds of a calvin and hobbes cartoon where calvin is making a homemade gift for his mother and he goes into all of the wholesome reasons to give a homemade gift: it shows you care for the person, it shows you put the time and effort into crafting something, you didnt just go out and buy something impersonal... but in the end after Calvin is being very suspect with all of this nice behavior he tells Hobbes, "It shows that you need a larger allowance" or something to that effect. I thought that was a great cartoon and this haiku really connects with it. —Cliff Ault Grandpa's
pictures Mike Mays I tried to write a haiku with this same idea once, but I just couldn’t make it work the way I wanted to. This author did a great job! I see a grandchild whose grandfather passed away maybe a few years ago, and now he or she is going through some old stuff and finding all of these pictures of him when he was young. It’s almost shocking to see the degree of resemblance between them. The sadness of losing him is mingled with the pride of knowing his image still lives in the grandchild. Excellent! —Leigh Kitchell |
eye contact asleep in
my arms Mike Mays (10) Probably my favorite Haiku of the semester because of it’s ability to illustrate the situation. I can just picture myself sitting there with a girl who I am very fond of watching a movie. My arm is in an awkward position and is beginning to get somewhat numb from her leaning against it. The lack of sensation in my arm is of no avail because I am taking pleasure in her company so much. So much so, that I don’t bother moving my arm or adjusting positions. It was very much worth the pain as our author so eloquently puts it. —Ted freshly cut
grass Jennifer Toney I loved this haiku because the first two lines lead the reader to believe some sort of infestation or something like that, but then the third line connects with every college student on campus... getting all geared up to go to the library and when you finally do get there you dont get any work done. This is especially true in the spring when you see everyone else out on the fresh cut grass enjoying themselves and you are inside attempting to study. —Cliff Ault |
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catch of the day Brianne Dilbeck I chose this haiku has one of my favorites because of the element of surprise. When you read this haiku, you are expecting the last line to read something about catching the jellyfish in the ocean or on the beach. However, this jellyfish was caught in the sink. This makes the reader try to imagine this as well as totally throw you off when reading. I really enjoyed this haiku and the humor in the last line! —Jennifer McGeehon bright white lines rain drops Brianne Dilbeck (2)
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nodding off
in class Travis Meisnheimer (4) I like this one because it is able to incorporate cherry blossoms into English-language haiku in a unique way. I envision a college student trying really hard to stay awake during a somewhat boring class after a late night of homework and/or partying. His head droops and he tries to prop it up with his forearm, but he knows he won’t be able to last long. Suddenly, a beautiful flower falls from a tree outside and brushes up against the window—it is just enough to catch his attention and pique his interest for a few more minutes. He knows that soon he will begin to nod off again, but that cherry blossom moment is one he will remember. —Jenny Schultz walking home Travis Meisnheimer This is another haiku I really enjoyed. I liked the humor of this haiku as well as the distinctive college feeling from this haiku. I pictured a Freshman in college who didn’t really get the chance to go out all that much when he was in high school. Since coming to college, he has turned himself into a complete party animal and a champion binge drinker. One night he has a little too much he can handle and passes out right at the party he’s at in front of everyone. Since he is a Freshman, they just leave him there by himself all night. He wakes up in the morning and stumbles out of the house he can’t remember and starts to walk home. He makes it about fifty feet before his stomach starts turning and he begins to feel sick. He then hurls all over the sidewalk in front of the girls track team and gives himself a bad label. I just think that this haiku is funny because it is something that every college kid can relate to on some level. We have all heard stories just like this one, and there is nothing to do but laugh. —Ben Kress summer heat even the beer sweats Travis Meisnheimer (10) |
©
2004, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.