(select your
favorite for each pair and write it in the box below the pairs)
(then select favorites of those pairs, etc... until one is the top pick)
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in his arms |
50
years pass we still kiss for the first time |
holding
hands I carefully step over the fallen tree |
scattered
pink petals |
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i like this pair because it opens up the closed romantic relationship between two people. the second one also introduces a part of the same feeling that the first does,but it also adds the element of time. I like the first better however, because of the strong feelings it brings out in the author for the other character, that just isnt quite as strong in the second one. Chris This "50 years pass" is a timeless haiku. I really thought the author really knows the meaning of love and knows what it is like to truly love someone and have him or her return the same love back to you. The last line really brings the whole haiku together, saying that it still feels like the first time. The passion in this relationship is still present, and the fire still burns. This couple reminds me of my parents when they get a little older. Cory |
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| thinking of
you I burn the toast black |
summer quarrel I use her insults |
yellow dandelion I ask him if he's happy |
kitchen light
flickers, I turn my head as you try to kiss me |
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I felt that these were two of the most successful haiku on the page, and it was difficult to decide which to choose. Both haiku depict the complexity of a relationship well, however, I feel that the second, “summer quarrel”, is just a little too abstract. What does the author mean when he uses the words “her insults”? Too many possibilities exist, which leaves the reader either overwhelmed or apathetic. The first of the pair, however, is not concrete enough to quickly become uninteresting, nor is it open-ended to such an extent that I can’t define my feelings. As I begin the first line, I’m apprehensive, because I usually don’t care for such clichés. But I find “I burn the boast / black” to be refreshing. It appears that the individual is so distracted by some marital/relational problem that he or she can’t even function. “Black” is the perfect ending for this work; this dark, depressing color helps to depict the feelings of despair that the individual has during some difficult time. Laura Champion: thinking
of you |
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secret burden |
October frost her birthday passes in silent remembrance |
bruised tailbone the cherry pie lands upside-down |
in the jewelry
store |
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I really liked the connection between this pair (and not just because one of them was my own!). It's almost as if they're telling two halves of the same story. Perhaps the "secret burden" is the death of a child, as in the second haiku, or perhaps it's something entirely different. Though each haiku has a special meaning on its own, the meaning becomes richer when the two are read together. Molly This comparison is also interesting to me. The first haiku in this comparison makes me think of something like abortion or an affair. After reading the second haiku I am convinced that the first haiku is about an abortion. The second haiku makes me think it could be a few months after the first haiku and the girl is thinking about if she had the baby she would have had a birthday in October an she silently thinks of what her life might have been like. Another thing I was able to compare both haiku to was death. The death of an unborn baby and the death of a girl. Sarah This pair is very complementary. The first haiku gives the reader a sense of distress and an unforeseen weight being carried by the girl, but we don’t know exactly what it is. This leaves us to wander through our own minds and think of our own tribulations. The second haiku then gives us the issue, which has transformed into such a burden. The wording of this could be interpreted several ways, but it initially struck me as a woman’s tombstone covered in frost, slightly disguising the fact that the dead woman’s birthday is this very day. No family has come to honor her memory, no flowers have recently embellished her untended deathbed… she is simply un-thought of. Angie |
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| first boat
of the season dropped back into the lake |
not a fish
biting except for both guys fishing beside me |
rush of water
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foot
asleep I try to become aware... of something else |
| I liked this one about "rush of water" the best out of every one that I read. I just really think that every person has had this moment where they question themselves. Some people may have a little more deep feeling from this and that is what I had, I really have had this moment a few times and can really just get good imagery in my head of this situation. I know I have had nights turn into morning where I have woke up and just had to look in the mirror and really ask myself if I was happy with what I was looking at. For the most part this was also a good way of clearing my head and really allowing myself to look deeper into myself. David K | |||
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yellow
dandelion rush
of water What an interesting pair of haiku. Both are about ordinary events with extraordinary ponderings about the self. In the first haiku, we get a scene of lover’s on a sunny day. I imagine a couple enjoying the summer afternoon, perhaps stretched out on a picnic blanket in a park. The yellow dandelion is close to her nose and it is beautiful in its ordinary celebration of sunshine. The couple is lulled almost to drowsiness, and the question comes up. Is he happy? Are we okay? Are we lovers? Is this enough? He loves me, he loves me not. And in that uncertainty there is that beauty of vulnerability. For now, the dandelion is glorious, yellow, in the sunshine and joyous in its being. But will it last? Will it continue to satisfy? Will happiness last? Then we turn to the rush of water haiku. At first I thought it was someone washing their face, splashing the water on to wash off the day’s face, the mask, the make up worn. And when they open their eyes, they see someone they have forgotten, the unadorned, natural face of an earlier self, perhaps a child-like innocence. Or they see a face with scars and frown lines and tiredness and wonder what happened. Like the dandelion question, this haiku turns to a question of the self, who am I? Who have I become? Is that me? Or it could be that the rushing water is a stream, a river and it is distorting the face so that there is no reflection on refraction and breaking up of the self. Either way, this haiku takes me to those fundamental questions of cleansing and renewal, of pausing to check who I am today. Finally, of the two I prefer the yellow dandelion for two main reasons. First, I just like the sunny color and excitement of the dandelion which is beautiful no matter how much we immediately dismiss it as a weed. Secondly, I like the unresolved tension in this haiku. After the rush of water, the self seems to certain and the case is closed. But the question of being happy never ends; it is our eternal quest, to find a place to bask in the sunshine. —Randy Brooks thinking
of you bruised
tailbone I liked these two because I liked the food images that they created. I liked visualizing black toast and a broken cherry pie. I thought that the toast one had more yojo than the cherry pie one...but both were good and they seemed to fit together. Katie The pair that I ended up with that I found the most interesting was from the Human Affairs page, on the top of the page. I ended up with the two haiku: thinking
of you and kitchen
light flickers, I think both of these have an element of relationship ambiguity. Did the person burn the toast black because they are so enamored with the person they are thinking about, or because they are so mad at them? Did someone turn their head to receive or reject the kiss? I like how you can take this pair and really interpret it in other ways. Both of these have an element of continuing, of making the reader question. I really like how these pairs came out. Ashlee 50
years pass Thinking
of you I also think these two haiku go together really well. I really like the first haiku I think it’s really cool that after 50 years a couple is still so in love with each other. The second haiku just fits right in with the first haiku, one of the couple is standing around thinking of there loved one and they end up burning the toast. Once again I compared these because they go together. Tony thinking
of you 50
years pass I really like this combination because they are both about love. I look at both of these and think of a person who is head over heels for someone else. They are so much in love that all they can think about is that other person. Both are about getting that feeling that you get when you find someone you love, how you just lose your self and forget things and then on the other hand that love reminds you of something. Obviously there is a significant amount of time that passed in 50 years and in the same since in the first on time passes as well because the toast got burnt. I really enjoyed both of these haiku very much. Jill The two haiku that I found to be best paired throughout this particular matching contest were the following: thinking
of you
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top quarter champion = 50 years pass / we still kiss / for the first time bottom quarter champion = kitchen light flickers / I turn my head / as you try to kiss me Ah, love haiku. This pair presented itself, and I wanted to comment on it because the VIBE between the two are so different. While using the same subject, and with such brevity, each author accomplishes a completely opposite tone. In "50 years pass" the reader responds with "awww - i want that" or "awww - that's adorable" whereas in the "kitchen light flickers" the reader is left with an ambiguous uncomfortable feeling. I personally saw a flourescent kitchen light above the kitchen sink where a woman was washing dishes. The light shed a blue hue on her skin making her look sick and pale. Her lover (or stalker? or...ex-lover?) tries to be affectionate, but when refused there is a silence that lingers that is so painful, it's like a car wreck with everyone craining their necks. I kept reading this haiku over and over. What is going on with this couple??? There is so much you can do with this haiku, so many stories and layers. The poet was successful in capturing a whole world in three lines, and is therefore the champion! CHAMPION kitchen
light flickers, (for what it's worth, I wrote a similar haiku a couple days ago. At that point, I had never read this one, but I think they would make a good pair :) Emily Evans howling summer
quarrel yellow
dandelion Of all the pairs that occurred during the matching contest, this one particularly struck. First of all, the haiku parallel each other seasonally. The first haiku starts with the line “summer quarrel” while the second one begins with the line “yellow dandelion.” The haiku also have very similar structure. They each begin with a seasonal element and then move to an action “I use.” and “I ask” then they both express something in terms of the other “her insults” and “if he’s happy.” I think it is interesting how similar the two haiku are. I see them as two sides of the same conversation, as a sort of progression. The first haiku begins the progression with a bitter summer quarrel. I see the quarrel taking place outside, with the summer heat pressing on the couple's tempers as much as anything else. In the midst of the argument, perhaps in a pregnant silence, the girl looks down in order to avoid his gaze and sees a yellow dandelion. In a sort of surrender she asks him if he’s happy. I think the two haiku pair extremely well together and seem to have a dialogue. Nicole I think this pair of haiku is especially interesting. They appear to be glimpses of the same moment; two lovers are having an argument, and each one is reacting in a particular way. One can almost feel the building of the anger in the first haiku and that familiar deflation in the second. David M I really liked this set because whenever you think of spring and lovers all kinds of mushy, cliché stuff comes to mind. Instead, these offer the messy bench breakups and screaming at the top of your lungs. Michael bruised
tailbone rush
of water These two haiku don’t really have anything to do with each other. The first one talking about bruised tailbone, makes me think of falling off of my chair in front of everyone. A really embarrassing moment but at the same time you can laugh at yourself because it is so very funny and it really is the only way to play it off as best you can. I liked this haiku because it lightened up the mood, at least for me anyways. The second haiku is more dark and more serious. I liked it because it makes you think of who you are and who you have become. This haiku makes me wonder what path I am on in life and if it is the right one I need to become the person I know I can become. That is why I liked it. Matt bruised
tailbone holding
hands These two struck me as both being about grace. Some have it, naturally and exuberantly, others, not so much. However, what is interesting is how grace affects others. In the second haiku here we see the ones grace extend harmoniously to the other, and the tree is successfully hurtled. However, one can only infer what incident occurs to make the authors tail bone bruised and the cherry pie land upside-down. The first alludes to human weakness, and the fumbling and failings of human interaction leaving your ass sore. The second deals with the ability to foresee and avoid, or gracefully deal with obstacles in life, and allowing one to focus on the furniture of the good life. I'm still not sure which one I like best, but i'm opting at this time to vote for the bruised tail-bone: there is great insight into the human condition, for life is a series of falls, often on one’s ass. Nick
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© 2005,
Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.