Global Haiku Tradition--Final Kukai Names, Spring 2006
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after the fight, Sarah Corso • |
once striking, Adam Stefo • • • • This haiku says so much in just three lines; the imagery is fantastic. I also really like the dual use of the word “strike” in this one, both literally (as in, the man struck her) and figuratively (as in, she was a striking beauty). It was in my group’s matching contest, and I fought hard for this one to go on to the next round. Sarah I didn’t particularly pay any attention to this haiku the first time around. The meaning of it seemed to pass right by me the first time I read it, which just reproves the importance of taking ones time with each line when reading a haiku. I like the double meaning the author used to portray the abuser and the abused. Once striking, I believe, is meant to be a comment on just how beautiful the woman in the poem is. What’s really neat about this haiku is that it isn’t really gender specific as far as the receiver of the beatings, therefore, it covers many different types of abuse. The victim could be a woman, a young boy perhaps, or maybe even a beautiful animal. Whichever the victim is the author has clearly included the tragedy of such a beautiful subject crashing to the ground under the hand of an evil person. The space between the first and second part of the second line helps to build tension, as if the man is raising his had to hit the subject. When you read ‘no longer’ it is already to be assumed that something negative is going to happen, and the space creates a slights hiccup where the author builds suspense. Jamie |
swallowing her holy wafer Traci Rapp • • |
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couples Traci Rapp • I really like this haiku because of the subtle way the writer portrays her not-so-subtle emotional reaction to being surrounded by couples. It’s very funny; it’s also a subject that a lot of people can relate to. The image of a random girl suddenly starting to sprint through these couples makes my single heart smile.:) Allison |
talking Pat Steadman • • |
blindfolded |
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dusk meadow Andrew Barnick (7) • • • • • • • I really like this haiku because each line brings with it a deeper image of color, or lack thereof depending on how you look at it. The word dusk signifies after the sun setting so its starting to get dark. With it, it brings to mind the color black. The next line, boldly colored, makes me think that a contrasting color is showing up against the black of the night. What came to mind for me was lightning coloring the night sky. It was hard to read the last line, by crickets, and not be surprised that the author added yet another image of black. As strange as it is to think about crickets coloring the dusk meadow, this image seems to work. Elizabeth |
turtle instinct Allison Lingren • |
his sweet words Stephanie Dietrich • • • |
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bundled Adam Stefo • |
laughing as Alisha Goebel (7) • • • • • • • I fell in love with this haiku when I first read it. It is definitely one of favorites. I enjoy how the author sets up his audience and then completely throws them off from something sexual to another every day activity. Good job pushing the line and holding the audiences attention. The word “laughing” also allows the reader to audibly here what is going on and appreciate the sounds and emotions of the activity. Erin I really like this haiku in all respects. It’s just one of those that sticks with you. It’s no secret at this point that I’m a huge fan of the senryu and this to me, is senryu at its best. Without the line break, it’s perfectly innocent, but reading it in haiku form gives a totally different image until you reach the last line. That’s why it totally accomplishes its goal (assuming its goal was to create humor). I think that this is some of the best type of senryu because it requires cultural context to understand the meaning. If the reader didn’t know that “doing the dirty” was slang for something totally unrelated to dishes, it would just be a nice haiku. Rick I chose this haiku to write about because I think it best exemplifies the idea of the juxtaposition that we have so often discussed in this class. The first line sets up the playful tone of the haiku. The second line continues this and gives the reader a definitely vivid image. The final line provides such a stark contrast that the haiku’s playful tone is even further established, despite the fact that the third line is about a chore. The haiku’s tone stays the same, even with the juxtaposition, which is unique. I also liked the way this haiku is written, in general. It is sort of short and choppy, which also contributes to the tone. Pat |
drunken confessions Allison Lingren • • I’ve already written about several of these, but they are still my favorite! It was hard to go back and find something different I liked about each one, but I think it speaks for the haiku when, after the whole semester, I still chose it as my favorite! I really liked this one for its ability to capture that feeling of apprehension; it’s not clear exactly what the situation here is, but it’s the sick feeling in your stomach where you know you shouldn’t believe anything that he is saying, no matter how hard he tries. Rachel |
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kissing you Liz Ciaccio • • • • I liked how this haiku was able to portray that feeling of being in love and thinking that the two of you are the only two people in the world. There might be a ton of people around you, but when the two of you are together no one else exists, or so it seems. Your love is able to consume each other so much that you both actually do not notice the other people around. I wrote about this haiku the first time it appeared in a kukai, and the second reading is just as good as the first was. Elizabeth |
ice tinkles Rachel Cook • • • • Again, I feel a certain amount of playful antagonism on the author’s part. They are setting up the reader for this nice homey haiku and then BAM massive alcohol surge. I LOVE IT. The affect of the word “tinkles” also intrigues me. I can actually hear the glass swirling as whoever is sitting at the table enjoys a nice summer day. The imagery I receive from this haiku is fantastic. It has been very well written by the author. It makes me want lemonade right now. Erin |
peeling my skin Stephanie Dietrich (9) • • • • • • • • • I enjoy this haiku because it does a good job of describing a hot sweating moment either after sex or just after hugging. I especially love the third line. I never would have thought to make the moon sweat nor do I have a good image of the moon sweating but the sticky humid feeling is well portrayed nonetheless. Corrine This is still one of my favorite haiku. I simply looooove all of the imagery and senses the author pulls into these three lines. I’m not even quite sure how to talk about this haiku without becoming quite embarrassed. It’s just filled with such raw passion and love that it makes me feel quite flustered after reading it. You can see the two bodies lying atop of one another, glistening with sweat in the moonlight, feel the stickiness in the air created by the couple, smell the long night, and hear the sound of their skin sticking together as they peel away from one another. This haiku is just so sensual because of all that it says without ever coming out directly and saying it. Jamie |
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my thoughts |
what I and only I am Andrew Barnick • |
harmless— Ryne Inman • • • • • • I like this one because of the irony the author used. I believes that butterflies are the epitome of harmlessness, and yet they seem so much more fragile and suspenseful here. You don’t know if the bee landing on the bomb will set it off, like in cartoons or if there are people watching the bomb who think that and as the butterfly glides closer they all leap behind a barrier and cover their ears. The other image that you could get I suppose is a kamikaze butterfly who is intentionally landing on the bomb to destroy everything in its radius. Who knows? Adam I really enjoyed the fact that someone decided to try another spin-off of “a butterfly lands on Park Place.” If that wasn’t the author’s original intent, then they’ve written a very good haiku as well as unintentionally been clever. The juxtaposition between the butterfly and the bomb is really fun; I also like the alliteration. Allison I really liked the irony and juxtaposition in this haiku! The first two lines set up the third line so well because even though the word “harmless” is actually there, the butterfly landing would make you think that anyway. Then we find out that the landing terrain is a bomb, it’s almost comical because it’s one of the last things you would expect. Rachel |
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legs wide apart Traci Rapp • |
summer dishes; Traci Rapp • • |
unpaid power bill Rick Bearce • |
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one Rachel Cook • |
through the fog Rick Bearce • • • • All of these haiku were amazing, some of which I have admired before as well as some I had never read. “through the fog” was a haiku that fell into the latter category, yet I loved it as soon as I read it. Although all haiku are supposed to inspire a particular image, this poem’s imagery stands out. I did not do any work imaging the scene; as I read the words a picture formed instantly in my head. Natalie |
humid morning |
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hidden treasure Andrew Barnick • I liked this haiku because it reminded me of the ridiculus things that many people who may not be superstitious notice and know why it will bring them luck or back luck. A penny is hardly worth anything these days. Moreover, it is almost a nuisance only good for being used in exact change. Quarters, dimes and nickels have constant use in vending machines either for beverages or toys, but pennies can’t even be used there. The only thing I can think of that people typically use a penny for is luck. However, if the penny is tails up then its bad luck only if the penny is heads up is it good luck. This actually makes me wonder if the penny stuck sideways in the sidewalk crack is good or back luck. It’s probably neither. Corrine |
perfect summer day— |
spilling into the air |
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two sprouts Andrew Barnick • • • • • • |
the broken limb Brian Blankenship (10) • • • • • • • • • • There is some ambiguous and abstract connection between the magnolia tree and the narrator’s mother in this haiku—and although there is no concrete explanation of their connection, it seems to be understood. The mother is not weeping because the magnolia limb has broken—the two events are not connected that closely; nor is the connection nothing more than the fact that the events happen simultaneously. No, there is some universal connection between these two events—something that cannot and needs not be explained. The author has done a great job simply setting these two events out there for us to look at side by side. Melanie |
laying on the couch Elizabeth Braden • • • I feel that this is an interesting combination of actions. Immediately, I question what is going on this haiku. I get the feeling that the lines represent a feeling of depression. It overwhelming sends across emotions that complement my opinion, as well as offering a sense of hopelessness from the author. The person within is so far gone that they are not even responding to the simple everyday acts going on around them. Great expression is given by the author. Erin |
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surrounded by family |
crazy kids |
the lawyer comes home Corinne Cullina • I like this haiku because I can think of it in two different ways. In one scenario, the couple has had a fight and are giving each other the silent treatment. In the other, I picture a romantic, winter scene where nothing needs to be said – silence is speaking volumes. Allison |
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shadows suppress Erin Wyant • • |
after spring showers Rachel Cook • • • • |
I hum Brian Blankenship • • • • • I like this haiku because of the music major part of me. When we learn how to hear and recognize intervals, doorbells are used for minor 3rds. In other words, the two notes that most doorbells use is an interval of a minor 3rd. When we are practicing in class or taking tests, I’ll lightly hum the doorbell in my head so I can hear the interval. And, if I ever hear a doorbell that’s broken and missing its second note like the one in the haiku, I could surely go a minor 3rd down and hum the second note. I also like how this haiku leads to something else, but doesn’t tell what it is. If the doorbell rings, that must mean that someone is there for something, but it’s up to the reader to decide what that is! Liz |
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I jump |
over the crowd Corinne Cullina • • • • • |
you and I Brian Blankenship (8) • • • • • • • • I chose to write about this haiku because it best exemplifies a haiku using form to mirror content, which is an idea I focused on for my haiku author study. In this haiku, the shape mimics the image the words provide; it is shaped like falling leaves. The idea of falling is also related to the “autumn” feel of the haiku; plants die in autumn, and the falling mirrors this. I also like this haiku because it is an example of a haiku exploring the relationship between man and nature, which is a topic I frequently write about (as seen in my chapbook). Pat “you and I” was another of my favorites because of the skill with which it was formed. This haiku tastefully presents the reader a visual to accompany the beautiful verse. Natalie |
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menagerie dove |
lying in bed Elizabeth Braden • • • |
drunken phone call |
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ashened glass |
in the calm |
sitting at the baby shower |
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behind Sunday’s best Jamie Devitt • This haiku brings out another side of the Sunday morning church-goer. I like the way it describes the man “behind” the suit he wears. The last line implies that he doesn’t simply wear his suit for show, but he wears it out of respect. Even when he’s not wearing the suit, he is living his life “kneeling” with the Lord. This is the man who is trying to live as Jesus did, not just the man who puts in his hour at church every week and forgets God the rest of the time. He lives one life, not two. Faith |
late evening sun Elizabeth Braden • |
little boy Corinne Cullina (8) • • • • • • • • |
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in the dirt Brian Blankenship • • • • I often find that short haiku are too stilted and boring for me to connect with. Not so with this one. As an atheist, the plethora of angels, crosses, and the like, have generally been shoved down my throat while living in this god fearin country. Every time I see a cherub however, I experience no religious connection whatsoever. They appear to just be a chubby little baby in a diaper, perhaps dressed as a butterfly for Halloween. Through the author’s portrayal I can see this skin toned stone cherub, covered in a layer of dirt, but it’s leaping and twisting position frozen in time. And somehow inside, I just want to right it and clear the dust from it’s smiling face. Traci “in the dirt” struck my fancy for several reasons. It contrasted the immobility of stone with the fluidity of dance as well as the grace of a cherub with the earthliness of dirt. The poem describes calls attention to a mundane scene, yet manages to impart beauty and wonder to the moment. Natalie |
medium lost |
buried in blankets Adam Stefo • • • • I really like this haiku because it reminds me of winter mornings as a child. It brings me back to one of the many days that I would wake up and peek out the window hoping for snow (and mainly for school to get cancelled). Although that was the original image it gave me, the haiku goes much deeper than that. The peacefulness of snow settling on the sill is one the greatest parts of this haiku. Parallel that with the warmth you can literally feel with “buried in blankets” and it makes for a really great haiku. Rick |
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a morning sunbeam Faith Martin • • • • |
wet skin Jamie Devitt • • • I like this haiku because of it’s suggestive nature. I like how it says so much without saying anything particular. The sound of reading it aloud is very seductive and I like that about it. Alisha |
making memories Liz Ciaccio • |
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a lone chair Sara Corso • • This haiku is so different. I know that it was paired with that picture, but by itself it works well too. This is one of those haiku that is so hard to touch on why I like it. The first time I read it though, it gave me chills. The third line really brings the whole haiku together because the first two lines aren’t really that special. The last line makes the first two lines seem so much more sinister. I talk a lot about how much I like the element of surprise in haiku and I think that is why I like this one so much. Rachel |
half a world away Rachel Cook • • • • This haiku possesses a strong feeling of being connected despite being “a world away”. One would think being so far away from each other would evoke feelings of loneliness or solitude, but I get a feeling of peace and contentment when I read it. Knowing that his haiku was originally put in the war torn world kukai, I liked how it seemed to stray from that normal feeling of fear and resentment usually associated with war. Elizabeth I remember this haiku from the “War-Torn World” Matching Contest; it was one of my favorites then, and it still is now. I think this haiku embodies the idea of “kindred spirits”—that possibility that your soul is especially connected to one other person’s. Identical twins are the most obvious example of kindred spirits. I have heard many stories about twins separated at birth being able to feel one another’s pain—or sense one’s death—from thousands of miles away. This haiku does a great job embodying this idea in a universal sort of way. Melanie
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smoke and wine Melanie McLay • • • • • • |
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ocean breeze moves |
bitter wind Faith Martin • • • I like this haiku because I can think of it in two different ways. In one scenario, the couple has had a fight and are giving each other the silent treatment. In the other, I picture a romantic, winter scene where nothing needs to be said – silence is speaking volumes. Allison |
walking home |
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on my knees Faith Martin • |
passed out on the floor— |
a candy heart Melanie McLay • • • I think I wrote about this haiku before, but I really liked it so I’m going to comment again. I just think it is a creative funny moment. It really would have to be an in the moment find to be funny too. It just wouldn’t have the same effect in the past tense. “Hey guys, I was eating candy hearts today and it was so funny I found one that was supposed to read UR MINE but the M rubbed off so it read URINE, hehehe.” That’s not as funny. Mostly because its not a seriously funny moment but only one of the simple things in life that can make you smile. The fact that it works best in the present tense makes this a good subject and moment for a haiku. Corrine |
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the captured caterpillar Melanie McLay • • • • I like how representative of reality this haiku is. So many times people get stuck in a bad situation such as the caterpillar is and once they are free from the so-called jar, they keep doing things that aren’t good for them even though they don’t have to. This society has a great tendency to do things repetitiously and I think this haiku does a great job at demonstrating this. Alisha |
rain on our faces Natalie Perfetti • • • This haiku is very playful and it makes me think of my younger days. I laugh a little at this haiku because of it’s playfulness. The adjectives used really make this haiku interesting. Alisha I might have written about this haiku before, but I still love it. It brings out great images of playing in the rain, perhaps even unexpectedly because they are still wearing shoes. Personally, it brings back memories for me because I’ve always loved to play in the rain. When I was about thirteen, we had a huge storm and my sisters wouldn’t go outside with me so I called my best friend and we played outside together, even though she was at her house and I was at mine. The whole time we were on the phone. It was probably not the most intelligent thing to do, but it certainly was a lot of fun. Faith |
the water still cold Pat Steadman • • • • This is my favorite haiku in this entire kukai. I wrote about it before, but I think I’ve grown more attached to this haiku since then. The image created is so alive! It could be about anything, too—two lovers skinny dipping, a group of kids jumping into the lake, or an old couple remembering past excursions at the lake—but at the same time, the haiku isn’t vague at all. As I said in my previous response to this haiku, my favorite part about it is the use of the word “our” in the second line: this haiku isn’t just for the writer; it is something that everyone shares. Melanie |
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mailed in a shoebox Allison Lingren • • • |
puppy waits Faith Martin • • • • |
stormy skies Melanie McLay (10) • • • • • • • • • • |
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gazing heavenward Faith Martin • • • • I chose to write about this haiku because it is the best example of a purely imagistic haiku. I imagine a person standing in an open field, even though this is not specified in the haiku itself. The first line creates a feeling of vastness and openness. The sky is blue; there are no clouds in it. The person looks up and just takes in the atmosphere around her. I like how the third line is separated from the rest of the haiku, giving it emphasis. Like the previous haiku, I chose this one to write about because it examines the relationship between man and nature. Pat |
sun Natalie Perfetti • • • |
sun-warmed grass |
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summer daisies |
at the party Pat Steadman • • • |
a starless sky Melanie McLay • |
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two left feet Stephanie Dietrich • |
oak tree • • |
peaceful waves Corinne Cullina • • |
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past the rocks, Natalie Perfetti • • • • • What I like about this one is the aural stimuli it provides. I think about when I used to camp, or walking in a zoo or something and I hear that gentle rush of water past the rocks and seeing that gleam of sunlight catch as each particle passes over the rock. I think of the people who around me, and why I am there with them. It transports me through my memories, not simply to my memory. It is like the context of an event, and because it is so common it is able to stir up many recollections and images from my past. |
porcelain angels Brian Blankenship • • • |
the last of the blossoms Sara Corso • |
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moonlight Rachel Cook • |
speeding fire truck Rick Bearce • |
a rolled down window Rick Bearce • • I thought this haiku was really well written and moreover, original. You hardly ever see anyone use payphones anymore, becoming obsolete because of cell phones, so this call had special meaning I think. While I’m sure this wasn’t the writer’s intentions, it made me think that it was an international call being placed because I can’t use my cell to call China. The addition of a spring rain shower makes it a more intimate conversation as the cord drips with raindrops but the caller is dry inside his car. Traci |
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the honor student, |
a child’s painting— Stephanie Dietrich • • • • |
the oak and I Adam Stefo • • |
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freshly fallen snow Rachel Cook • • • I like this haiku because I can think of it in two different ways. In one scenario, the couple has had a fight and are giving each other the silent treatment. In the other, I picture a romantic, winter scene where nothing needs to be said – silence is speaking volumes. Allison |
sudden revelation |
seven years old |
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unreachable light |
swimming pool Elizabeth Braden • |
heavy rains Rick Bearce • • I liked the simplicity of the author’s image here. Heavy rains usually make people apprehensive about going outside. If they have appointments or reservations they will cancel or reschedule because of these little droplets of water. Yet this tiny little bird embraces the water, rejoices in the chance to be a part of it. It is a wonderful idea, I can almost see the robin smiling. There is a light-heartedness that lifts the image beyond the descriptive, and into the active vision of a bird flapping in the puddles. Adam |
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melting |
alone Ryne Inman • |
soulful breeze Ryne Inman • |
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as the rain begins to fall, Sara Corso • • • • • As soon as I read this haiku, my mind immediately went to the scene from “Shawshank Redemption” when the guy finally escapes prison and is free. I love how this haiku brings the person together with nature and makes them one. Rain is such a symbol of rebirth and life. Standing out in the rain simply accepting it for what it is, is such an amazing image in my head. You’re being cleansed from the inside out. And, the fact that the person turns their face up to the sky makes me think they are thanking God for the rain. Liz |
last year’s pants Stephanie Dietrich • • • |
dancing close Traci Rapp • • • |
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your sparkling eyes Allison Lingren • • |
truck dies at midnight Alisha Goebel • I can’t remember if this was on a previous kukai, but if it was then I am ashamed because this is my favorite haiku submitted in this class. It’s got a clear experience tied to it, as opposed to just whimsical words, and haiku that push the limits of acceptable middle class vocabulary and incidents are my favorite reads. It’s a well written thrilling haiku that makes any reader, liberal or otherwise, catch their breath. Because it is in a truck and takes place on a highway, I actually picture an older couple becoming so aroused on a long distance journey that they have to pull over and keep the engine running to stay warm. I also think it’s funny because in order to make their battery die it had to be on for a long time so I think they were having a little trouble, umm, getting things going. Traci |
spring evening Rick Bearce • |
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climbing over Allison Lingren • • • • This haiku uses imagery and emotion to draw in the reader. The author is approaching someone who has put up walls around himself, never letting anyone too close. This is why the author has to literally “climb over” the words that this person is saying because they are false; simply a part of the fake wall. This is all in order to reach the core, or the real person behind the façade. It is an excellent use of imagery and emotion. Faith I love how this haiku uses figurative language to really get its point across. They aren’t literally climbing over words, but rather trying to get through those words that don’t really mean anything in order to get to the deeper meaning. I think one of the reasons this haiku really gets to me is because this situation occurs a lot. So many times people just give you BS excuses for things because they are afraid or ashamed to tell you the truth. You have to see through the “empty words” and see what’s really there. |
Jerry dies after eating Adam Stefo • • It may seem unusual that I’m writing about this haiku, but I have a very particular reason. I have a feeling that if this weren’t the final kukai in which the authors get to pick the haiku that get in, this one probably wouldn’t be in here. I happen to know the author and also know that when he wrote this for our kasen, he got a few strange looks. I guess the reason I’m writing about this haiku is because it represents an example of a haiku that people wouldn’t normally appreciate, but the author still likes it and wants it to be known. To me, it’s really important to be able to express yourself and make your work known even if it’s not hugely popular. Granted, the haiku has inherent humor as well. Rick I know this haiku was originally meant to be more silly than serious, the more I contemplate it, the more I see some depth to it. In its own kooky way, it’s a great example of the fragility of life. Jerry died a preventable death. He could have taken those 112 pennies and, instead of eating them, walked down the street to McDonalds and bought a double cheeseburger to eat instead. It only would have been 107 pennies with tax – Jerry could have lived AND would still have had 5 pennies left over. And even if he’d eaten those, they probably wouldn’t have killed him. Sarah |
I’m no rebel Jamie Devitt • |
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a walk in the woods – surreal |
felled tree Ryne Inman • • • • • • I also thought this haiku lent itself to beautiful imagery. When one thinks of a tree that has fallen it is easy to automatically begin to think of very depressing, isolated thoughts. This haiku, however, brings a beauty to this trees death that is just breathtaking. When I read the line ‘a pool of blossom’ my mind created the image of thousands upon thousands of cherry blossoms, still very much alive and vibrant, creating a soft cushion to catch the fallen tree. Only certain branches poke out from beneath the bed of blossoms, so you almost wouldn’t know the tree was there. The image of a tree drowning is very neat within itself, but within a bed of blossoms just paints an even more stunning picture. Jamie |
picking him for my teammate |
©
2006, Randy Brooks • Millikin University • last updated:
May 9, 2006
All rights returned to authors upon publication.