Global Haiku Tradition--Rengay 1 Favorites, Spring 2007
moonlight illuminates your eyes treading in dark waters headlights in the driveway I watch smoke linger through her hair running through the fresh cut grass winter snow stirs the papers |
over the din gliding... the ball sinks holding the cold beer slinky red dress in his eyes the smile last call I chose this rengay because it had nice soft links. Nothing too extremely similar so your brain had to do the link and think for a second. I think it is nice that it still tells the story and is not exactly a straight forward story. It's like the poem is drunk just like the character in the poem. You remember glimpses and moments and you have to piece it together after you read it. Amy |
Water water nearby the kids the car brakes thunder booms he drops to his knees the rainbow peeks through |
| Saturday morning jamming along to the tune by the memorable Pat Benatar golden oldies JT, Beyonce & Kayne | In the rooms the women Drip, drop, drip when the eyes shift Many words are spoken distantly remarking warm toned voices long after the day |
are we there yet stuck together finally the world's largest the anticipation together with family I can really see this family. I think that everyone can relate to an experience like this. There have been times in everyones life when they think oh my goodness my family is silly but it is the silly times together that you remember and reminisce about with your family for years to come. I like how it shows a range of emotions from irritated to appreciative. Liz Even though I have never been on a family trip like this, I understand what one is and what obstacles they encounter. Each part of the rengay, gives my imagination a good idea of what to feel. I feel the stickiness of the heat. I feel the want of wanting to get to their destination; I also see the largest object. As to my understand people who go on the road trips enjoy the largest objects they drive past. This rengay is the best out of the others because it gives me images or ideas to play of off and piece together. Lorin |
Afternoon Tide sun baked sand the wind lifts your hair seagulls fight the wave comes in yellow striped awnings the small child I really like this rengay because of the seasonal aesthetic element. Upon breathing in I can taste the sea humid air down my lungs. I love the sea/beach I think it is such a calm and soothing place to be. Each line in this haiku links to the other in such a way that it expresses the sea/beach atmosphere. Each line also, links to each other by expressing not only the atmosphere (climate wise) but also the activities that go on in a sea/beach. The author did an excellent job of linking, for example work and play on the sea/beach. Work men are on a boat off in the distance bringing in fish with a net, and at the same time people are resting, playing, or having lunch off on the side. I think all of the lines were beautifully joined together. Joan |
Retreating back into the dark An old man 8 legged The clock strikes midnight Muzzle that loud An owl sits Fat, Swimming, Hungry |
Rengay picking kitties spring time undying love winter comes old photographs life ends
|
Virtually Reality Eyes scan the screen The gamers are unresponsive Saving princesses Reality is never quite Immersed in fantasy Staring at the sky… |
their future career patients lives maintaining friendly faces caring and compassionate we secretly wish |
The Loner Early morning The skies lighten Cars on the highway A lone hitchhiker Cars pass by- The man lowers his head I think this rengay has a good flow. The verses are connected, but yet tell their own story. There is juxtaposition between the busy drivers and the lone man. ÊIt describes a normal day, however, the normal day is totally different for the drivers in their cars and the hitchhiker on the side of the road. ÊIt has movement with the cars driving by. I picture a busy highway with people hurrying off to work or school and then this one lone person on the side of the road. It also has a seasonal element with birds chirping. —Cindie |
The Holiday cold wind candles burn low memories… snores invade tea kettle whistle a fork hits |
snow on the roof watching movies a long awaited talking of memories the movie gets now more serious |
lit cigarette stars burn above ashes hit the hooves hit the pavement an owl swoops pine tree scents This is my favorite because I can invision each one of the verses. Their diction is perfect which appeals to all of the senses. Btittney |
Dogs Tails wagging Warily I come home Arf arf arf communication I understand Emotions are universal |
end of college We talk to learn only for four years Spring we depart Time for a schedule four years later I like how this poem can show the feelings that many students go through when they are in college. In the Rengay, I can feel the one student life starting on a new campus in the fall and having the dream to be all that you can. Then as the years progress, education seems to drag and your heart is not in it. In the background you can imagine the seasons passing by with new years and yet this one student seems to look like they are being dragged to go on. Also, the use of juxtaposition in this poem gives the illusion that you are looking at the students first year and their last year at about the same time. In addition, the way that the friends make the best of your university years and the classes as the worst part is very well done. Alya |
my bare feet birds fly overhead listening— colors of the sunset holding hands |
Time Off back again hours roll by I change into counting backwards connected to tubes wheeled to the door |
Rainy Afternoon light, plot thickens mirror images sympathies switch
|
Marks on the Wall I take my mother looks at me smiling running too fast he carries her grandma waiting on the porch swing |
Memories pale green walls faded memories walking down the hall the clouds open a last look behind |
Journey Lone mansion drifting down gazing at the sky waiting. . . a lone flower’s growth This rengay uses content links in between each of its separate pieces in order to tell a very interesting story with multiple themes and emotions that link together effectively. It begins in an almost dreary and morbid fashion, which leads to a sense of loneliness. Depression and gloom fills the traveler as he stares at an oppressive sky. Yet, there is hope that Spring will come and things will turn around. The struggle for something better is apparent and full of hope. John I enjoyed this rengay because it has a very stark tone to it. There is a great sense of loneliness from the words ÒsolitaryÓ and death from the image of the crow and the cloudy sky. However, at the end there is this glimpse of hope from the flower and the phrase Ònew life.Ó It gives meaning to the Òlight at the end of the tunnelÓ parable. Life goes through cycles and if we work through the dark parts, there is something new beginning coming. Keith |
|
©
2007, Randy Brooks • Millikin University • last updated: April 16, 2007
All rights returned to authors upon publication.