Global Haiku Tradition--Tan-Renga Capped
drop of red wine Jenna Pelej drop of red wine I like this one because it is very seductive. ItÕs sensual without being dirty and it makes you remember your first true love. Liz faith, family, and friends my lighthouse reaches out to me in the darkness This reminds me of times when I am school and I am very stressed out and I just want to go home and put my head in my momÕs lap and have her play with my hair until I fall asleep. My family and friends are the most important things in my life. I truly believe it is the relationships that make life worth living. Liz drop of red wine Jenna Pelej & Keith Chandler It paints a rather sad portrait. A woman loves a man, but he hasn't been with her either in a while or ever, depending on the interpretation. She had gone to bed drunk and dreamt of being with him; when she wakes, she realizes it was all a dream. She sighs and lays back down, alone. Brittney I liked the longing that this Tanga evokes as well as the dreams that we have of ourselves but we never tell others. I can imagine a woman that is sleeping and she is dreaming of the perfect man for herself. The dream is so vivid that she believes that she is experiencing the one thing that she has wanted since she was a teenager. Then the young woman wakes up and comes to the realization that she is alone. The funny thing about this haiku is that no matter who is around us there is this feeling of being alone that does not quite go away but stays at the edge of our consciousness. Alya I thought this one was the most successful out of all of the options. It tells a strong story and also has emotion. I really enjoyed this one too because it left a nice suspense to the reader. The poem has history and present. The imagery of this is there and it does not have a seasonal but it has a time of day so it replaces the need for seasonal effect. Amy drop of red wine When I think of a honeymoon, I think of a lot of careless love making, the kind where you get the red wine on the sheets and not give a care. I think the addition of the honeymoon image is very perfect for the red wine. Also, the red wine gives a sense of unconventional love. Usually couples have Champaign during their wedding night, but this couple is different. They set themselves apart on their unusual type of love. Keith This reminds me of my honeymoon. We went to Springfield for the weekend. The hotel gave us a free bottle of wine because it was our honeymoon. Lindsey drop of red wine |
crows eat the kernels Liz Hare crows eat the kernels Liz Hare & Keith Chandler I like this one because it reminds me of my grandfather. He was a poor tobacco farmer his entire life. Some of my best memories of him are watching him plow the fields on his tractor. Lindsey There is a nice silence that speaks a lot in this poem. This man is in a spaced out moment of thought. I picture an old man that has lived a fairly lovely life but sometimes people picture what if they had chosen the other route of life. I see him doing this. This poem has a strong stand because of the image of this man just sitting and thinking, something a lot of people need to do. Amy |
black starry night black starry night Alya Sager black starry night lost in my thoughts black starry night Driving home at night is horrible. Even if you weren't tired, you will be tired after you start driving. It's inevitable. So, everyone relies on a stimulant to try to keep them awake. It's horrible to try to drive when the stimulant fails. Brittney |
yellow tulip Cindie Zelhart yellow tulip yellow tulip I like the cap added to this Tan-Renga. It successfully adds a human element to the natural setting. You get a sense of calm, peaceful stillness from the beginning, and it ends with a sense of a child’s rambunctious nature, single-mindedly attempting to offer a gift, as he unknowingly destroys a peaceful scene and kills an innocent tulip in a clumsy manner. John enjoying my walk yellow tulip Reading this reminds me of Easter. It reminds me of when I was younger and we would wake up really early in the morning to have an Easter egg hunt. That’s what I picture when reading this. Chonita my shoes never stop I like this cap because it flows nicely and doesnÕt impose too direct of a subject. However it is nicely linked together from an enjoyable walk to an inspection of a pretty flower, I enjoyed this cap. Phil D her wrinkled hand CindieZelhart & Jenna Pelej I like this one for a different reason; it completely changes the haiku. Now instead of it just being about a flower in the wild it gives the reader another focus. Now the reader can see an older lady, maybe in her garden. The reader can wonder what the old lady is thinking about, about what kind of journey she has been through. Is she happy and healthy? Married, widowed, divorced or never found true love? It’s wide open to interpretation because of the addition. Phil K |
on his fingers Deirdre Fields on his fingers Of the additions to my cap, I liked this one the best, although I think it could do with a little bit of editing. I think it captures best the idea of frustration that I wanted to convey, working so long and so hard on various sketches and in the end ending up with a blank sheet of paper, no closer to conveying what you meant than when you had started so many hours ago. I enjoy the addition, recalling this kind of tempest that seems to be at the heart of the haiku. Although I think in some ways it is a little bit too wordy and could be revised to make an even more succinct punch of feeling. Lovely imagery all the same. Deirdre on his fingers Deirdre Fields & Andi McCoy I think this one is my favorite cap for this tan-renga, honestly, because of the word becomes. I like the idea of the blank page taking shape. You don’t know what it is a first, but then all of a sudden it makes sense. It turns out just the way it was imagined and captures a quality of the woman he is trying to draw. Rachel This cap evoked a memory of the famous scene from Titanic. I hate that movie, but the scene and this tan-renga are both great ideas. It’s almost as if the artist’s work transforms the blank pad into his innermost desires—as if she were waiting there, all along, just waiting for him to reveal her. John on his fingers on his fingers on his fingers on his fingers I really like this capped haiku because it makes me think of people I know that draw naked women. My friend took an art class at Millikin where they were drawing other students naked, volunteer students, and I thought it to be a little weird. I don’t think I would feel comfortable naked in front of a bunch of class mates let alone my professor. I think this haiku kind of brings you into the mind of the artist; he is really enjoying drawing a naked woman. I always kind of wondered what artists are thinking when they draw naked women. Joan on his fingers
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college love Grandville Shannon college love college love Grandville Shannon & Liz Hare I see this as going two ways by the word clinic either the prenatal clinic or the abortion clinic. I like the image that this gives with the tiny hand. I can see an ultrasound picture and see my sons little hand on it. Andi I like this one because it keeps the perspective and feeling from the original but adds a mental image that makes the haiku very compelling. The image it adds really takes it to a new level, pulling at the strings of one’s heart. While the emotion and sadness was in the original the image of her, thinking about the hand, really brings the reader to a deep sadness. Phil K I really like this capped haiku because I think it shows a girl having a major reality check. I couldn’t imagine starting to think about this major life change. Seriously, another human being, how is completely helpless, depends on you, 100%. I can’t even take full care of myself right now, let alone another person. I think this haiku vividly displays all of these feelings in those last few lines. Joan college love I like this one because it’s funny. It’s a very sad predicament though. It’s unfortunate that this couple might get married because she is pregnant and not because they love one another. Chonita for the first time beautiful girl This haiku is so sad! I cannot believe someone would just run from this situation, the amount of guilt that person feels has to be incredible. They are going to live their whole life not knowing their child. It seems so tragic and that’s what makes it stick out to me. There seems to be no motive and just to be away from the problems and it is an inconvenience to boyfriend so he does not deal with the problem and just runs and leaves the girlfriend to take care of it. They each made a choice and the girlfriend is stuck with this and she has not where to go. It is not fair that the boyfriend just leaves he is partly responsible. Shannon I really like this cap, because I think it shows what a lot of people may think of when they see single mothers in our society. I think that a lot of fathers are worried that they will lose their own life in the midst of caring for someone else, especially a small child. I think the overall thought of being in college, going for something greater, and then being stalled in the process because of becoming a mother or father is hard thing to take in for anyone. Whitney college love my mother warned me college love I really liked this capped version. I think I enjoyed this tan renga because the first 3 lines leave the reader wondering what will this couple do now that they have a baby on the way. There are so many choices, but at the same time, they are limited by the fact that they are still in college. I liked this capped version because it can be read two ways; the first being that the guy leaves the girl all alone to deal with the pregnancy, and the second way I saw it was the guy had left, and even though the girl is with child, she feels absolutely alone. Jenna |
pub patrons laugh Alya Saqer pub patrons laugh Alya Saqer & Phil Jones This is my starting hokku that someone has added a cap to the end of it. The cap in the end is unique but that was not the feeling that I wanted when I started this haiku. I was thinking that the Tenga would be of a serious note but the cap gives the image of a playful atmosphere where a woman is showing her fan and legs as she flirts with the patrons in the pub. What I think about this is that a Tenga is a social form where anyone can get involved and that is what the Tenga above implies. This is a good Tenga and should be kept for amusement. Alya
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sharing the room Andi McCoy sharing the room This is my favorite out of all of them because when I wrote the hokku, I was thinking about my 3 younger brothers who went to their first middle school dance. So I think that this one best suits the topic. Andi This is a good cap, it's about family which I like. Two brothers are sharing secrets about their first dance, maybe the brothers are different ages and one of the brothers got his first kiss at the same time as his older brother. But it doesnÕt matter. The girls across the street makes me think this is a small town, quintessentially rural American. I just like the playfulness of this cap. Phil D sharing the room This entry is humorous for every guy has been there where you are observing the opposite sex for personal gratification or for stories with the fellas later. This cap seems like the 1 guy and Ron are on the same page (nailing their sentiments mentally) but Ron actually goes out and says it. Jay sharing the room Lots of brothers that are close in age have to share a room. And if their close in age, they go to the same dances. This haiku shows an unusual type of male bonding—gossip about their first dance. It gives a certain sense of softness between the two brothers. And then there’s the image of the boutonnieres on the night table. I would always leave mine on the night stand after dances just out of laziness. For some reason, it was the always the last thing you took off because you just forget about it. Keith mother and father sharing the room (6) |
your silhouette in the corner |
best friends forever best friends forever best friends forever Forgetting the warning I was given best friends forever this was my haiku and this was totally not the direction I was going. I do like this one the best because it is so vivid and it translates from human to thing really well. Shannon best friends forever
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his eyes tell me his eyes tell me his eyes tell me his eyes tell me the smile on his lips This is one of my favorites because of the romance. It is the fairytale image every girl wants to happen to her. This image is very vivid and it has so many feelings involved. This also transitions from human to object really well. Shannon I really like this cap because I think it signifies something that most girls wait their entire lives to find. I think it is so special to find someone that you truly love and can see yourself spending the rest of your life with. I think that marriage is the really closer in this one, because they are taking vows to show how true that love is in their relationship. I get a lot of great positive feeling from this, even goosebumps! Whitney his eyes tell me his eyes tell me
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faith family, Sarah VanderZee faith family, faith family, faith family, faith family, the perfect mix faith family, fog blocks my vision Sarah VanderZee faith family, |
Twins? Twins? Twins? all through life you mean, her and I? This one reminds me of my best friend from kindergarten. We were always around each other day and night. People thought we were sisters, twins, or even just cousins. Often we had to explain that we were just friends. It made us laugh every time though. In reality, we looked nothing alike. We were just around each other so much that people confused us (sadly enough, even our sisters did it from time to time). Rachel Twins
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loneliness before listening to my heart loneliness before loneliness before loneliness before |
the inch worm the inch worm the inch worm I like thus Cap because of the imminent loneliness that all toys must have when their owners outgrow them. I have plenty of G.I. Joes, Teddy Bears and Transformers that are in basements in bags or at somebody's garage sale. This cap does a wonderful job of connecting an adult to relics of their long lost childhood. Jay September dusk the inch worm the inch worm reminiscing the inch worm
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© 2007, Randy Brooks • Millikin University • All rights returned to authors upon publication.