Haiku Attempts 7 - Spring Break Haiku
Global Haiku • Millikin University • Spring 2009
Springtime tryst— |
white sweatpants, too small |
laughing with my parents Bill Ryan (9) I like this haiku because, like most people my age, it is weird trying to grow up, but being treated like a child at the same time. During my second semester of college I have finally grown ok being away from my family and friends from home. When I came home for spring break I had bronchitis and was really sick. My family was worried about me and was taking care of me again. There were moments that I really missed being home and I wished school was closer to home and that I could see them more. Then something would happen and I remembered why I liked living away from them. Lizzy |
Seattle rain— Emily Weible This haiku is very cute. I can just see a poor little worm coming out for air after almost suffocating underground, again. It is exhausted and worn out, and only hopes to find a tunnel underground to take him to another state. Very creative and cute! Brandy |
through the clouds Emily Weible I liked this haiku because it appeals to me in two ways. When I read the first two lines, I wondered if the clouds were literal or it perhaps this was a metaphor for the batting that goes inside pillows and dolls, etc. The use of clouds creates a tactile image- fluffy, light, bouncy. But the last line places you in the air, travelling. “…Seattle” Sierra |
aloe vera… |
in my mind Jey Smith I like this haiku because it is how most students think before Spring Break or even Winter Break. I know that when it is time for Spring Break, that is all I think about. To go to a class on Friday, the day Spring Break begins is torture, because I;m not even paying attention to the professor, I am just thinking about when I get home and can finally relax. The hardest part is after it is over bouncing back and getting back in the swing of working at school! Dar |
my happy goodbyes |
knockout by lust |
waving to my friends Jey Smith (5) |
Nebraska dinner Tiffany Owens (8) |
black cloud— Jennifer Godwin (5) |
an old friend’s farm |
cancelled flight |
a million Tiffany Owens (3) |
sister sick again |
houselights flickering Natalie Perfetti (3) When reading Natalie's haiku, it’s quite clear she’s a poet. Someone with no experience, a journalist, a novelist, a poet…all approach writing haiku differently. Natalie finds her image, and clearly works with the language to write aesthetically. What I find strange here is her use of simile. Normally, the images would either be placed separately within the haiku or be directly correlated. Each line brings its own image though, which may explain the use of “like” within the haiku. The concept of time pervades this haiku, which I find intriguing. The image of driving down a winding road, and seeing houselights through trees on the side of the road, is strong alone. Placing this next to the concept of birthday candles compliments both the lights, and the metaphor of a winding road. The images are interwoven strongly, reflective of a very conscious writing style. Ryan When I drive home to see my family, every turn becomes more and more automatic. Every stoplight, business, bridge, etc, is like a roadsign leading me home. Birthday candles are a treat and a milestone, and so is the opportunity for me to go home. I think this metaphor is very successful not only because of it’s accuracy, but because of its universality. “the winding road ahead” could lead anywhere, and therefore anyone can relate to it. Sierra |
spring break gossip— |
for a pedicure Jey Smith (5) |
Groundhog Day |
ducks flocking Ryan Murphy (2) |
months of exercise Jey Smith (2) |
turning around & around Emily Weible (5) |
bronchitis recovery |
inglin’ and minglin’ Hector Galvan |
mother shares a recipe Ryan Murphy I don’t believe this one was mentioned during the kukai, but it really was one of my favorites. My mother is a very good cook, and she has taught me a lot about cooking. This reminds me of some recipes she has shared with me. She is so proud of them, and they are like her “secret” recipes. I feel honored to be one of the few people who know them. And there are some times that I enjoy switching up the recipe a little bit. Of course, I do not tell my mom this because in her eyes, it is already perfect. However, it also makes me think of how times are changing. It’s like you are following in your mother’s footsteps but adding a little spice to your life. For example, when my mom grew up, it was extremely shameful to be pregnant and not married. Now, it happens all the time and no one seems to care anymore. I care, but I feel most of the world doesn’t. Emily |
Monday morning panic Jennifer Godwin I am always afraid of being late. I am usually so paranoid about it that I end up REALLY early to everything. I only rode the school bus for maybe two years when I was younger, but this makes me think of a kid that has lost track of time or possibly forgot to set their alarm. There are many times I will set my alarm, or at least think that I have set it, but instead I wake up to my husband’s alarm going off. I usually shower before him, so if I wake up when it is his turn for the shower, that means I have already missed mine. I guess you can say I don’t like the unexpected, and I hate to be rushed, so this haiku made me feel very uncomfortable. Emily |
chalk against pool cue— Ryan Murphy (7) This haiku makes me picture a group of guys playing pool together in a bar. One guy is lining up his shot when he catches the smell of a woman’s strawberry perfume, lotion, etc. from across the bar. He looks up to see where it is coming from just as he is about to take his shot and in doing so, he scratches. I also relate to this haiku very well because a few of my friends and I like to go to the winery where we play either pool or darts. We always go alone, but there are usually some girls that we know who come by and one or all of us will eventually drift away from the games to start talking to them. Bill |
spring break Bill Ryan This haiku has a sense of warmth. For me my true friends are back home and I believe having few friends is best. So I am always looking forward to going back home and seeing my “gems” and dishing all of the dirt with them and spending time with them. I feel like even though we are not together,, we are still together in a sense, I know that sounds weird. However, this haiku just makes me think of being at home with my true friends that I love. Dar |
video game marathon |
at one glance |
highway dusk |
all days crossed |
for better or worse Bill Ryan (8) I think that this haiku is a good example of the realization of growing up. This happens to everyone, including women. Throughout their lives, people try hard not to be like their parents, but in the end, you can’t help who you have become. This haiku illustrates that the person has accepted that fact, either good or bad. I just love the honest, raw nature of this haiku and the positive/negative aspects that it brings. Jennifer This haiku was written by Bill Ryan and I really enjoyed it! I love how the first line is written like a marriage vow, in this case to the Father, and how it really is an idea that is better or worse. I love the idea too that this person finally feels that his Father is taking over his personality. I really in my worst nightmare would hate to become my Father, however as I get older I really see myself becoming more and more like my dad, its scary but its true. I also just like the simplicity of this haiku its clear and mentally provoking but very funny also. Well done Bill! Will Bill Ryan’s writing style works well with haiku. His haiku often only approach a single image or thought, as if he trusts the power of that single image to engage the reader. In this case, he chooses the incredibly powerful Freudian concept of killing the image of the father. His use of “father” instead of any synonym, separates him from his father. For me, this brings a very specific and immediate memory to mind SYMBOL 8212 \f "Times New Roman" \s 10last week, I cut my hair short, took a shower, and stood in front of the mirror wiping the steam from the glass. I hadn’t seen myself with short hair since I’d gained weight. And, even though I’m adopted, I was struck by how much I looked like the father I hadn’t spoken to in four years. I realized that I’m as old as he was when I was three; he’d had an adopted child for three years by the time he was my age. This is the memory risen when I read Bill Ryan’s work, and I can guess that many men will experience similar memories when reading this poem. This is the strength of Bill’s writing, he knows these emotions and memories are powerful enough for unfettered presentation. Ryan |
Mom’s Payday . . . Jennifer Godwin (7) |
cleaning out the garage Jennifer Godwin (9) |
green river Lizzy Kelly |
blinding sunlight Natalie Perfetti (2) I particularly like the spacing in this haiku. It could be read with the first and second lines together or the second and third together. In the first, the sunlight is reflecting off of the lake, blinding the person. In the second, the sunlight is blinding them straight from the sky. In both scenarios, the blinding light is blocking their vision from the crocodile eyes that have emerged from the surface of the lake, making them unknowing of what lies ahead. Bill I like the imagery that this haiku brings. I imagine someone out in a boat in the middle of a lake in Florida. They use their hands to shield the bright sun as they look out across the water. Suddenly the top of a crocodile appears in the water. The words, as well as their order, seem to be carefully chosen. I like the use of “from the lake” in the middle of the haiku, because it could be paired with either the top or the bottom line. It gives the reader enough information to paint a colorful picture as they read it. Jennifer |
missing one eye Jennifer Godwin (5) |
packing my suitcase |
back home |
somehow Lizzy Kelly (5) On this Spring break I made a vow to myself to get somethings done, and I did not! I really wanted to beat some deadlines and get a jump start to somethings and I just could not manage to pull it through.This haiku made me laugh and was very personal. Jey |
Irish music plays |
lungs hurt |
red wine fragrance Natalie Perfetti (3) This is a very lovely haiku. It totally descibed my spring break. My boyfriend and I were actually having a lot of fights and were we indecisive on whether or not we would go away on spring break or not. We put our differences aside and planned our weekend getaway and rekindled our relationship during our trip. This very haiku was the theme of the entire trip. Jey |
rainbow tile— Jennifer Godwin (7) I like this haiku because it reminds me of what I did when I was younger, and let’s be honest still do sometimes. When I was bored I would make it a game to only step on a certain color tile or make a distance in a certain number of steps. I can picture this little girl hopping around from tile to tile as everyone else walks normally around her. She is lagging behind everyone because she is playing a game with herself, but is unaware because she is so focused on the blue tiles. Lizzy This is an awesome haiku for two very special reasons for me. First, I as a child lived on the theory that if I stepped on the crack my mother’s back would break! After learning this theory was untrue, I would actually jump on all of the cracks I could. But, before my thought process was shattered, I would avoid them so much and my parents would get mad at me because I would walk so carefully behind them. Also, being a brand new Uncle, I cannot wait for my niece to have little corks such as this and talk to her about why she does this and get the very simple and friendly, “because,” answer just warms my heart to no end…I am so proud of sister and my niece! Will |
the rainbow |
waves lapping Natalie Perfetti (4) |
grocery store humor— Emily Weible (5) I really enjoyed this haiku for the humor. I can just imagine the sight of people if this happened. It would be funny to observe each person try to pull up the money and witness the emotions when they realize the prank. Brandy |
all the lights aglow |
a six year habit . . . Bill Ryan (6) |
© 2009, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.