the last soldier
in the misty morning air
trying not to shake |
humming
songs of his youth
grandpa |
the last soldier
in the misty morning air
trying not to shake |
closed blinds
enclose the house
an empty chair sways |
When it came time to choose between these two haiku, I had a really rough time because they really work so well together. The first haiku, in my opinion, could be a part of grandpa’s (in the second haiku) youth. The songs that grandpa is humming could be from the time that he was a soldier. I could see the soldier humming songs as he tries to calm himself and forget that he is alone. They work so well together that it was hard to choose between them because separating them gives them a whole different meaning. Elise |
I thought it was interesting how these two haiku matched up. They both are so very visual and make you as a reader come into the scenario. You can see the soldier hiding in the mist trying not to move so that the enemy cannot see him. You also can see this old house with the blinds down and a rocking chair creaking on the old floor. I think the subject matter is an interesting match. They both seem to convey loneliness, whether in a house or alone on a battlefield. It is just a very creepy feeling either way. Because of this, it was hard for me to decide for which one to move on. I eventually decided on the soldier haiku because of the sensual word choices. Adam |
father and daughter
floating in a canoe
the lake listens |
sparkling shoes
daddy daughter
date night |
Lover’s quarrel
He whispers
“I love you more” |
Tissues
Enough to fill a landfill
First broken heart |
These two haiku were my favorite pair of haiku from the contest. They were my favorite pair because I absolutely adore my father, and I love thinking about the times when it was just me and him, hanging out. It was definitely difficult to pick between these two haiku because of the meaning each held for me. My grandfather built a lake at our family farm soon after my grandmother died. My dad and I would always take a boat out onto the lake to fish, explore the lake, to talk, or just to sightsee around the enormous lake. The lake always glistened beneath us as we made some of my favorite memories between my dad and I. With the second haiku, this reminded me when I was little and my mom would work late, my dad would take me out for dinner. I’d always put on the cutest of dresses and shoes, and a little makeup to look good to go out with my beloved daddy. It was so hard to pick between because both struck a good memory in my mind with my wonderful dad whom I love so much. Katie
I took both of these haiku very differently. The first, rather than a peaceful moment, the picture in my head was rather morbid. I imagined a situation where the father had murdered his daughter. It was an accident, he was drunk and he didn’t intend to kill her. He took his daughter’s body out to the lake where their family spends the summers. It was early, still almost dark before anyone was awake. He pours his daughter’s body into the lake, hoping that she would never be discovered and his secret would stay safe. The lake acts as the only witness to the situation, the only witness to know what really happened. The canoe just floats silently on the water while the father sits and thinks about his current situation. The second was much happier. Here, the daughter is spending her one night a week with her father. Daddy always tries to make it special, since they only have that one night granted from the divorce settlement. They both get gussied up. The father sees his ex-wife, whom he is still very much in love with, in his daughter. They’re going to a dance, just like he used to do with his wife. The love for his daughter and the love for her father shine incredibly in their eyes. I liked both of these equally, even despite the differences in imagined subject matter. They both have those moments when the father realizes just how much he loves his daughter: in the first, it’s when he realizes what he’s actually done, and the second when he sees what a beautiful woman his daughter is slowly becoming. It’s those little moments when you realize how happy something made you and the rest of the world just stops to hold its breath. Both of these haiku were special to me simply because of the moments they highlighted. Lexie
I really loved both of these haiku because they both have to do with a very special and strong relationship. But they are both about different stages of this relationship. The father and daughter haiku makes me think that the daughter is older, perhaps this is their last summer together before she goes off to college. They spend their last summer together canoeing on a lake and instead of getting caught up in actually canoeing they spend the privacy on the lake to just be in each other’s company. This emotion is so personal with so little action, there isn’t that much going on or being said but it’s in the silence that the true meaning is felt. The sparkling shoes is clearly about a father and his little girl going out for a fun night together and since it’s such a “special occasion” she gets to wear her special sparkly shoes. It’s such a cute scene and that’s what makes it special because it reminds us all about how cute we were with our daddy’s before we grew up. This was definitely a hard decision to choose between these two haiku but it comes down to each reader’s personal opinion on which memory they value or enjoy more. It does not come down to which haiku is better but which memory the reader likes more. Stef |
I found it difficult to choose between these two haiku. At first glance, they both seem to convey a sense of sadness. But after reading the first haiku another time, it is clear that it is not about a sad subject. The lover’s “quarrel” is not really a fight, but just a couple playfully arguing about who is more in love. The second haiku conveys almost the complete opposite feeling. It is the feeling that comes after one loses the feeling of being completely in love. The way I see it is that they are connected in this way: the feeling conveyed by the first haiku must precede the feeling conveyed by the second haiku. Kendall
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