The Ocean

So this is the ocean. I can't believe how big it is. I feel so small and insignificant standing next to it. It stretches out as far as the eye can see. Why did I wait so long to see it? This white sand is so much different than the sand in the sand box back home. It is soft, like a cloud, and I just sink into it. It is so warm from the sun. The water is also warmer than I expected. The waves feel so good crashing up against my ankles. Refreshing. The sound of the waves is like music. The seagulls singing their hunger songs fill my ears. Seashells. These are incredible. How do tiny little creatures live in these? Why do people do drugs when they could just go to the beach? This is incredible. Oh no. What if there are sharks in the water? I googled this. The amount of shark attacks compared to how many people get in the ocean every year is just a small fraction. But what if my family is the one affected by it? It happens to someone. Surely they would go after those idiots way out there before they came this close to the shore, right? There aren't even that many people here. We really did find the perfect spot. Sea foam. What causes it? It's beautiful. Seaweed. Is it attached? It floats. I needed a vacation. This is my new happy place.

big blue ocean
deep and vast
quiets my tangled mind

Chocolate Chip

A small child tugs at her mother's coat. She points at the cookies on the grocery store shelf. The mom hesitantly nods. Inside a plastic home, the family of cookies cuddle together--happily knowing they bring much joy to the hearts of humans. Mom lets her open them on the car ride home, and they both enjoy with smiling faces.

chunks of love
crumbly cookies await
their delicious fate

The Secret Garden

The tall stone wall behind the hedges that I've never noticed before. I go round and round until I find an interruption in the concrete. A door. Behind the door I find a beautiful garden. A secret garden. Shaded with sun rays gleaming in the areas where the ivy hasn't taken over yet. The bubbling sound of a small creek, heaping with pond lilies. Statues of mermaids near a waterfall. Cascading creeping purple thyme covering the walkways that once were. Trees so big and picturesque that one of them could be the tree of life from the Garden of Eden. A stone staircase that leads nowhere except back again. Flowers everywhere with bees buzzing. Birds singing a spring song. What is this place? I don't care. I'm never leaving.

the big black door
behind it . . .
the Garden of Eden

Lobster

I love you for what you do for me. I love the warmth that you radiate. But I don't like the redness you give me. Strong is always better, until being strong burns you. You relax me after the stress of life and school. But turning me red like anger isn't part of the plan.

stressed because of school
and getting burnt
tanning bed 2

Red

Fluorescent white lights showering the room. I am surrounded by black netting and green turf flooring. The silent hum of machines in the background are slinging baseballs at various speeds. Every five seconds I can hear the balls making contact with bats. The ting of the sound is incredible. In fact, it can be annoying because of the amount of noise at a high pitch being produced. As I stand in the middle of all of this, I begin to hit off of the baseball tee to warm up. I keep taking one swing at a time, until I start feeling like I am in a groove. I am next to a teammate and friend who is doing the same as me. I wait for him to finish on the tee. I turn around to engage with him. But, before I can say a word, a flying piece of aluminum comes towards me. I try and duck but it hits me right above my eye. No pain. But. Red gushes. All I can see is red. I close my eyes. Screams fill the space that was once filled with the tinging sounds of baseball bats. I fall and am facing the ceiling with closed eyes. I begin to doze away.

blood pond
soaking my body
tingggggg

Shock

The cool, darkened room. The lights had been dimmed. You stand there shocked and in disbelief. You are in such disbelief you cannot even feel your legs holding you up. How could this happen? You thought everything was going to be fine. Your head takes you to dark places. Your heart is beating faster than ever. Your life has changed forever but you cannot even realize it. You don't know what possibly could happen next. You stand there paralyzed wondering if it's real. You wish you could go back and change something. You wish the doctors were wrong. You wish you would have been there when it happened. You stand there wondering if there was anything you could have done differently. Unfortunately, there is not.

the light that
burned so bright
Extinguished.

Swimming Pool

The cold water of the pool surrounds you to keep the sun heat from catching your skin. The pool is above ground and the sun faded sides are beginning to peel. The pink floatie slowly cross to one end of the pool just to return as if it was to afraid to stay at the end alone. Sunglasses block the brightness of the sun, but the heat is being felt on your cheeks as you lean on the rim. The clear water ripples around, manipulating the image of your legs and the liner. No one is out with you, just the sounds of the birds accompany you. The black birds show envy as they watch you enjoy a much larger bird bath for humans. They feel the heat but grow hotter as they watch someone using the pool. The towel hasn't moved any closer to you, so it isn't time to leave yet. The clouds cross the sun, darkening the world for a few seconds. The heat stops, and the glasses slide down your face as you look up. The cloud steps out of the sun's way, and the heat returns. You lean harder on the rim as the jet turns on.

hot summer day—
first step in the pool
always the coldest

State Championship

Cloudy Saturday morning, no birds to be found. Hiding from the cold breeze hitting the trees. We exited off the bus, relieved we were finally here. Eight hours till I can be crowned a champion one last time. Crowd is covered with different color shirts, cheering and yelling different team names. I look around wondering will I choke or move on? No better feeling than getting your hand raised by the ref knowing you are the best.

all gas
no break
one last run

 

 

 

 

Glow of a Phone

The second year of college. A large house echoes the lonely sound of one roomate's keyboard clicks. A text appears from the one who weighs on his mind. Her presence in his life once made him happy. She tells him that she is all that he has now and he knows she is right, but something else tells him he must let go.

thunder...
sad eyes in the broken hearted
mirror

Rehearsal

I remember walking onto the stage of the concert hall. It was the Wednesday before my first performance. I never liked to be in front of people as a kid. Attention terrified me. I remember looking out into the crowd. Since it was only a rehearsal, there were only around 20 people in the hall, mostly focused on their own kid, but I remember imagining people in the seats, and that was enough to put me over.

all eyes on me
hunched over
my lunch on the floor

Blue Sky

Wow, what a beautiful day. I love walks in the park. Headphones in, stress free, this is how life was meant to be lived. Wait, are those police officers? What are they doing out here, did something happen? Maybe they're just out for a walk too. Completely reasonable, I'm just overthinking. I overthink everything. Why do I do that? Doing it again, just be cool. Act normal, they won't do anything if I act normal. Am I being normal? Alright, moment of truth, here they come.

Fairview Park
head in the clouds
hello officer

Hideout

Please, don't take me to the beach. I know I'm suppose to like the beach like everyone else, but I just don't. Sure, I like to hear the crashing of waves, but the smell is utterly repulsing. Sand gets stuck in every crevasse you can think of. The worst is trying to take a bite of my turkey and cheese sandwich to find . . . Sand. Not to mention when the wind picks up and it starts to get in your eyes. I also can't be in the sun. Not because I burn. I do burn . . . but I also get hives. We get definitely go to the beach of you really want to! You'll find me under the umbrella, fully covered and submerged into the shade.

warm weather
with crashing waves
. . . not in Illinois

Kukai 5, Evan Chastain

No Superheros

There I was standing by and witnessing bad behavior. The quiet one becoming just like the bullies who bullied him. Picked on because he was different than the rest. The animals feel his pain every stomp he takes on the ant hill. You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.

stepping on
sidewalk ants the boy
everyone bullies

Swede, AU, page 28

Yes, Your Honor

Years of work. Year of tears, sweat, and, yeah, blood. 56 sleepless hours on finals week. Each party skipped and each invitation denied. College years, you only get four but career years, are many more. Each semester holds at the end, the dreaded opening of final grades. Somehow, always an A, except once a dreaded B. Wise words from grandpa, go to school and get a good job. Making him proud, one A at a time. Senior year, the last hoorah or senior year the hardest hoorah. The laughs of peers and slamming of books. The Snapchat stories of kegs and served looks. My story entails of highlighters and law school applications. The dreaded day – acceptance day. The ripping of the envelope, the congratulations, and the small pile of other offers. Alas, years of work for years of success.

sunup to sundown
peers chugging downtown
making my way — to the gavel sound

The Player

He examines. He studies. He observes. He does every other synonym you can think of along those lines. This is part of his job. The job of a player. He must first go to the cafe and buy the tallest coffee he possibly can. (This is written in the contract to be a player). Once he has his coffee in tow, he must then wrap his neck in a scarf—even if it is 85 degrees—then pull out a faded looking notebook with an engraved fountain pen that only proves that he is a serious artist. Once all of this is done, he can then begin the observation process. He does this diligently, silently judging all who pass. He sees a chihuahua come through the doors. "Perfect," he says, "What a perfect thing to observe. A dog. Oh, yes. I must approach every character as a dog would." As he is observing the tiny dog, he begins to get excited, but not too excited—as that would be uncouth, and therefore, not like a serious artist. As the dog leaves, the player feels inspired enough for the day. He heads home, and goes to bed. The player has done the ultimate work. Deceiving the audience of the world that he is actually an artist.

denim, tan, and cremes
the color palette
of pretenders

pain

You're a fuzzy feeling, a feeling of being outside of the moment and still being in the moment. A sharp stab repeatedly felt in my head. Wishing for relief. Weakened steps, feeling like your falling. Sleep in a dark room they say. Take a shower. Take your medicine it will go away in a bit. But is that really what happens. You stay with me no matter what is done, relief from you is what I wish for. But never succeed in receiving.

migraines
not for the weak . . .
of heart or     head

Saved

floating down the river
carefree—living life to the fullest
lifeless body floating

In the summer months around these parts of Illinois there isn't much to do outside of boating, fishing, playing in the mud, and chasing pretty girls. A few summers have gone and went since then but the reality of this occurrence stays with me. Riding down the river enjoying a few cold ones with the boys we were stopped by a few locals on the bank of the river. They were telling us to watch our prop and to look into the water for what was to be a drowning body. People were yelling at us to find their friend who had been underwater for a few minutes without having the knowledge of how to swim we stayed to help. A young male was caught by a branch and being pushed by the waters current looking lifeless. My search party got us close to the victim to the point where I could jump in to help this man. The body was pale and had a very distinct smell of feces once I swam to him. A rescue boat helped me get this man onboard to be air lifted to a hospital in Missouri. Our efforts that day give me a new lease on life to not take anything for granted and be aware of surrounding for myself and for my friends. Sometimes going out of your way to help people is rewarding, in other occurrences it is for nothing. Keep your friends close and be smart with the decisions that you make knowing they can ultimately be your last.

surrounded by loved ones
under one roof
wedding bells

Finally

The day has finally come. The anxiousness and excitement have eaten away at you, but today is that day that it is finally happening. You cannot believe that by the end of the day, everything will change. You will be someone completely different. You take all day getting ready to make sure that you look absolutely perfect for the big moment. Your best friends are there to help you celebrate and you are filled with joy that those that you love are there to help you celebrate. This is one of the biggest days of your life. You no longer feel nervous, just an overwhelming sense of love and excitement. You can hardly wait for that moment that changes everything.

the flowers begin to sprout
after the cold, hard
winter

Convicted

The walk to the cell feels long and endless. I keep a straight face because I don't want to be seen as weak, as many have already called out "fresh meat". Fear shakes my heart like a rattlesnake's tail. The horizontal lines run down my body, making me feel taller than I remember. The concrete floor is stained with any color you can imagine, and I move my feet to avoid them. The guard pulls me closer as we reach my "new home" for the next 10 years. The door scraps open as I walk into what looks like the cages at the animal shelter. The noise is similar, loud noises and cries for freedom. I meet my new "friends", though I don't want to get to know any of them. My wrists feel relief for the first time in hours, and the red rings wrap around my wrists. The door slams behind me as my heart sinks to the cold floor. I sit on my bed, but it could be used as a work bench if desired. The cold chill that surrounds me has now been confined in a 10x10 room, and light shines on the floor with a grid pattern. As I sit there, I wonder only one question, was the money in the register worth all this.

they always said
i looked good
in stripes

Pointed Toes

Dance class is full of little bodies and little brains, training to one day become the future. Pointed toes only come with dedication, discipline, grace, and grit. Through the years spent surrounded by the same pink walls and rigged stereo, I found my passion. Each year moving up the ladder teacher to teacher, the one that stuck. Year after year, she trained my body as well as my heart. She loved my heart, I loved her, and her son loved mine. Years and years promise rings and engagement plans. But I broke her heart and I broke his. The walls got smaller as I got bigger, time to fly. He flew too. Only she, flew to Heaven.

dance
the teacher who teaches
to love and to lose

Tea Party

She was five years old when she received her first tea set. Mr. Bun Bun tucked into the high chair on one side while Sally sat on the other. Purple lilac petals danced on the shiny china. She would raise the tea pot high as bug juice was poured. "Milk or Sugar?" A cube of sugar would dance from its drop. Dissolving with each stir, her smile would grow with blonde eyelashes batting. Clattering of the spoon, she hands a cup. She then pours one for herself and holds it up. Clink; the cups hit with a smile. She pushes the cup against her lips. The juice leaving a slight stain on her mouth as she giggles into her cup.

cosmic brownies
and tea party sets
Meme's house

Kukai 4, Breana Bagley

Spring

Early morning sun draws me out of bed. As I pull back the curtains of my bedroom windows, the sun shine grabs my soul. The songbirds chirp as I make my morning coffee. My cat begs to go outside. This is the recipe for a good day. No negative thoughts will form today, I will not allow it. As I lace up my pink Adidas shoes, I thank God for this day. My shadow and I finally alone, on the trail somewhere deep into the forest preserve. The first warm spring day.

yellow weeds
unwanted but
beautiful

FROSTY

Being out in the sun is so draining today. I can usually get away with a little bit of heat, but today is entirely different, and I'm all alone without anyone to help. I wish there was a tree nearby for shade. Why wasn't I born with a parasol in my hand? A top hat doesn't protect anything but my head. Couldn't I have been born in a tent? Or a freezer? Or Wisconsin? Someplace that never gets warm, so I could live for as long as I wanted. Woo--Is it getting hotter out here? Wait a minute, what day is it today? March has gone by so quickly, and no one has come outside to give me any support.

Mr. Sun
I have to worry about more
than a simple burn

Baseball

There is not a cloud in the sky. The sound of a crowded stadium overwhelms my senses. The smell of freshly cut grass and hot dogs fills the air. Surrounding me are strangers along with my favorite cousins. I’m overjoyed with the atmosphere of my first baseball game. Unfortunately, there’s a sadness behind this day. My godfather, uncle, and their dad is ill. We share laughs, food, and the joy of the game but there is something missing. It was you. Your warm smile and hardy laugh was missing. The memory is bittersweet

nothing prepares
you for a
loss

BRU

Walking through the front door of the Bru coffee shop, with thousands of tiny fairy lights covering the window. The whirring of cappuccino machines, the ultra-fast typing of Macbook Airs and the light chatter of hipsters. As I walk up a short ramp into the shop, I pass flyers for local shops and events until I catch sight of the colorful chalkboard menu mounted up on the white brick wall. I turn to my right and see a vast array of comfy chairs and tiny lamps, and my eyes drift up to the sea of paintings waiting to be bought by someone with lots of money. I'm finally the first person in line, but I'm stuck between the Bottomless Coffee and the Cappuccino, and ask the cashier what his favorite drink is in hopes of a solution to my problem. He says he's regularly been having the cappuccinos since before he worked there, and that was all I needed to come to a decision. Before I knew it there was a cappuccino in an enormous swirled mug waiting for me. I waited for the mug to warm up my still chilled hands, sat down, and got to work
for the next three hours.

bottomless coffee
or cappuccino
an excellent problem to have