all those things
I wish now I'd asked you—
snow falling
secrets from your past
speak to me

It is my favorite tan-renga poem! This renga gives me the image that this couple can’t believe and trust each other because one of them has the secrets that won’t be told with honestly. With the sad scene,” snow falling”, it enhances the feeling of sorrow! I love the way this poem is presented, not from the form but the image it gives. Besides, I almost can picture in my mind how it will be in reality. Therefore, I think the author does a good job of depicting the atmosphere in this poem. Cindy

It's hard to pick out just one favorite tanrenga because I like them all so much! I especially like the first three in the top row. Forexample, in the first one—"all those things/I wish I'd asked you—/snow falling/secrets from your past/speak to me"—I really like the sound of it, and the mysterious tone. I can see it turning into a kasen because it's so open-ended, and I want to know more about the story. I feel like writers could make connections andlinks to the end of it. Kate

midnight snow
it's like you
were never here
the empty
sock drawer

Aubrie Cox

I chose this because it has a lot of emotion. I just see a lot of imagery here... maybe it's about a husband or a wife who all of a sudden left and the other one is still in denial that they've left. I think the second line could do without "it's" though and be just as meaningful. Tara

I also really like, "midnight snow/it's like you/were never here/the empty/sock drawer." Through the words, I can feel the sadness of the narrator, and I can just imagine somebody standing in his or her room at midnight, while snow is visibly falling outside the window, and the person is staring at his or her lover's empty sock drawer. It's just so sad, and I love this imagery and emotion that this tanrenga invokes in me. Kate

the moonlight
emphasizes
my father's wrinkles
each crevice
a memory

Becky Smith

The sense of time and wabi-sabi in this tan-renga is amazing. I love the usage of the moonlight as the illumination, and also the metaphor of crevices for the father's wrinkles. I can see a rocky cave with certain cracks filling with white moonlight, happy memories standing out in laugh lines. Susie

Tan-Renga from Mayfly 44, 2007:

winter rain
turning the calendar
a couple days late
you leave without
saying goodbye

winter rain
turning the calendar
a couple of days late
someone warm as I am cold
how long until the days meet

I really like this renga because it gives me a visual of when i leave home and the feeling that goes along with that. Its such a simple idea or scenario that we all go through at some point but it's so familiar and easy to relate to. Love it! Elise

rescue dog
just in time
for both of us
I see your face
filling with warmth

gossip
at the beauty shop
snip, snip
did you hear?
he said, she said.

I think this tan-renga works really well. The added lines seem like natural continuations of the original poem. What I liked best about the original was the way it characterizes gossip as a standard part of the soundtrack of the beauty parlor. I think by adding the dialogue, the second author expanded upon that idea perfectly. Nora

she cuts the hook
from the stingray's mouth
October sunset
cuts swiftly through
dull aquamarine

One other tanrenga that I really liked was the last one: "after the rain/flashlights in the dark.../night crawlers/college students stagger/out of the local bar." I love the connection that this person made because I never would have thought to add these lines about college students staggering out of a bar late at night. I've talked about how I like works that I can relate to, and as a college student, I can also relate to this tanrenga. When I was reading all the tanrenga, this one jumped out at me the most, and I just really love the connection that the writer made. Kate

At first, I sort of glanced over this one, but on the second pass, the "swiftly" juxtaposed with "dull aquamarine" caught my attention. The original haiku's strength lies in the specific and visual, and the cap adds an element of almost sublime. I can imagine the stark contrast between the water and the sunset, and the sunset reflecting in the water, which always comes to a point, so it looks like it literally is cutting open the water. This then plays off the person cutting the hook from the stingray. Aubrie

Tan-Renga from Mayfly 44, 2007:

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat
I breathe in
hope

or

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat
he stops
for a deep breath

or

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat
he pauses for
a cleansing breath

or

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat
she breathes in
the fragrance

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat

Maria Steyn, Mayfly 44, 16

visiting hours
blossoms
on the passenger seat
the card missing
a signature

floured counter
our fingers slowly tracing
a heart
her red shirt fades
to pink

sparrow splashes
in the flooded
zen garden
the embers
of last night's incense

below the door
of the photo booth
unlaced shoes
tattered clothes
she's too young to care

steamy kitchen
we let the kettle
whistle
he happily cleans
the whole house

Oscar night
adjusting the cuffs
on my pajamas

John Stevenson, Haiku: The Art of the Short Poem, 34

Oscar night
adjusting the cuffs
on my pajamas
practicing my acceptance speech
in the bathroom mirror

last day of school...
the crack of a baseball bat
outside the open window

Randy Brooks, School's Out, 28

last day of school...
the crack of a baseball bat
outside the open window
the game ends before
the bell rings

after the rain
flashlights in the dark . . .
night crawlers

Francine Banwarth, Mayfly 44, 15

after the rain
flashlights in the dark . . .
night crawlers
college students stagger
out of the local bar

I like how when the hokku was alone, you get a completely different feeling then when you add the hokku. The addition of the tan-renga makes it relevant to our campus, which makes the fact that they are called “night crawlers” even more hilarious. Becky