Tanka Kukai 2 Favorites
Millikin University Fall 2017
the tide and you Ben Williamson (4) This tanka reminds me a lot of something I would write. Most of my poetry has to do with love or relationships, and I am a big fan of water imagery in my work. This poem also evokes beautiful imagery in my mind of the seashore and the tide coming in, it's very dreary but very beautiful as well. I think the last two lines are clever and very poignant. There is another example of an excellent use of a pivot line in the third line. Hannah I imagined this entire scene. The sound of waves crashing. Two people on a beach and then one walking away. It was very well written. Norman |
It's hard to function |
the empty room |
calming buzz of a fly |
shadow girl Hannah Ottenfield (3) Being the person behind the scenes in everyday life is often hard, as oftentimes being noticed is all we want. As someone who has been in such a position, it is oftentimes as if you don't exist. Shadows are unassuming, and oftentimes unnoticeable. They are present everywhere we go during the day, yet we never pay them any attention. Just as this shadow girl lives her life. She is some transparent figure in the background, everyone looks right through her. Ben |
Having dinner together |
the abyss |
where the bluegill come easy Ben Williamson I think this tanka has a very lyrical/melodic feel to it that I really enjoy. I get a very clear image of the youth of the author. The last line not only is a very clever pun but also conveys the struggle of adulthood and the yearning for a simpler time. We see a great example of a pivot line, the first three lines are a nostalgic memory but the last three are a sad recollection of the past. Overall this is just a very well-constructed poem and it was my favorite of the week. Hannah I felt that this tanka could be broken down into two forms. The vision of fishing as a child versus as an adult. Missing the days as a kid, with the memories that were created. Another way, when taken at the break, I feel it is about life in general. Missing the simple times and realizing that adulthood has set in. Norman |
Doo-doo Kathryn Coffey (4) |
your smile Hannah Ottenfield (5) A light side smile, with a dark side of eyes. Plus the person keeps you wondering as well. Either that's some mysterious type stuff or that's something to run away from. At the same time it brings out a yin and yang effect, of a light side and a dark side. One can't live without the other, cause whenever there is light. There is a shadow let there be light, whenever there is darkness. Bring illumination. Bema |
"what's your name?" Hannah Ottenfield (6) When I read this one I think of someone who once knew the author but forget their name due to old age or the author has forgotten someone because they are just that unforgettable. This one is so simple yet oh so expressive and emotional. Despite not giving a location or a physical memory like a campground and or playground to relate to, I truly felt the emotion with this Tanka. It's one of my favorites party because of the genius of its simplicity. As a read this Tanka over and over again I imagined myself in the shoes of the person with the forgotten name and as the person who asked for the name over and over again. Lauren |
the little boy Bemajedareki Williams (4) |
don't tell me Hannah Ottenfield (4) I truly felt connected to this because there have been many times when I drive past a house or any type of building from my past and it conjures up a memory both good and or bad. When I read this Tanka, I couldn't help but feel liked the watched knew the watcher was looking and that made the pain oh so much worse. Not only is the watcher looking at the author, they're not saying anything there just starting hoping and praying the watched gets the message. I don't know what's worse being watched from a far and or being the watcher but chickening out from saying anything. Like the watcher just wants to make their presence known they don't actually want things to change between themselves. I liked this one because it was basically a one-sided cat and mouse game, like the mouse is trying to move own but the cat keeps driving by not saying anything basically teasing the mouse out of spite. Lauren |
many miles ahead of me Norman Mears (5) |
pressed the wrong button Hannah Ottenfield This Tanka appeals to me because it is the epitome of “one of those days”. It's a story of the days where we fight just to get through them, and once we do we pass out in bed and pray that the next day is better. These are the days that either make us stronger or tear us down. Ben |
looking at old pictures Hannah Ottenfield (4) |
As she talks Lauren Rhodes (6) Lauren's tanka is also interesting to read. I also like that she actually had her words published in the school paper. She also wrote another favorite of mine from the week's kukai. I wonder what this tanka's backstory is. Is the narrator crazy about this person talking? Are the rollercoasters emotional ones? Kathryn |
walking a familiar beach in France Norman Mears (3) |
listening to the Ocean |
Fill my cup |
Don't covet. Kathryn Coffey (4) |
As we walk out Kathryn Coffey (2) |
laying stiffly on the floor Ben Williamson (3) |
I oftentimes get lost Ben Williamson (4) Ben really hit it out of the park this time. His works had massively improved from the last time. I love this one because I love the feeling I get when I read it. It's what it feels like to find love and happiness in the face of stress. If tanka were real estate, this is the place I would sell everything for. Kathryn |
on the television screen Ben Williamson (4) This scenario can turn into a whole bunch of situations. “for you are my entertainment,” who is this you? Could this “you” be a person? An object? Or some kind of figure? Either way this you is a noun. Could this person be talking to his significant other, look for satisfaction. Could this person be talking his/her children, because the TV is boring? Could this person talk about the food that is in his position made by his/her significant other? The only question is, who is this you? Bema |
midnight direct deposit Norman Mears (5) |
reliving memories Norman Mears (4) |
the smell of jet fuel |
old blood |
measuring the pieces Norman Mears (4) |
© 2017, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.