my childhood heroes
depicted in their youth
kept in a cigar box
under my bed
for safe keeping

between the macaroni art
and crayon portraits
in the old chest
a letter never sent to her
written on construction paper

miles away
on my neck
feeling his kiss
when he mentions it
intoxicating

first glance
nothing is amiss
a volcano is lying in wait
chlorine tickles her nose
AA. . . Choo

overcast skies
hardened tears
even rain won't cool her
a page turns
but her story is not over

the eerie silence
freezes our bodies
like Han in Carbonite
it's a trap
we can't escape

she looks young
aging like fine
expensive wine
on a side of milk
fountain of youth

the picture frame
mom smiling
dad is happy
to see their first
alive

facial features
a beautiful woman
kept to me
forever
how handsome

my dad's 
brown leather chair
welcomes me home
with open arms
i sink into home

my lead feet
pull my stone body
inch by inch 
down the sidewalk
i feel so heavy

fishbowl hips
balloon wrists
doorhinge ribcage
ruler ankles
body of a dancer

seeing her pretty self
Mi Madre
enjoying her break
watching movies
fresh moments

wishing you happy
smiling at me
over watching
from the stairs
Requiescat in Pace

the father
“still got work”
“lunch?” I say
“you're paying”
. . . cheap date.

Crappy trailer park
white trash bums
Budweiser odor
why did you think
I wanted this?

Munchkin
goes on forever
no end
Come on!
Die already!

Brings me back
trying to get
a cookie
Now Mom's patience
       is mine

when did
the male gaze
become like
oxygen
to me?

the twinkle
of grey eyes
in the fluorescent light
nothing more
than wishful thinking

as she lay
draped across
the bathroom floor
just like
a marble statue

out of the corner of my eye
her leg tremors
fears bubbling like cola
she desires shelter
instead she waits for Godot.

casting a shadow
elephant in the room
ego the size of california
me on the outside
a line in the sand is drawn

sleep in her eyes
a nose larger than life
she is all neck
yards of off fabric
dusted with gold flecks

slower and slower
my strides have become
remembering the route taken
yet not remembering
these new aches and pains

watching the enjoyment
of my son
going higher and higher
wishing it was me
on that swing

holding the softness
of your hand in mine
fireworks glistening
on the canvas of darkness
above our love

looking at
the pretty blonde
through a frosty window
forever wishing
that it was a mirror

. . . split second darkness
interrupts the broadcast
an unanswered knock
leftover ringing from a seashell
plunging over the edge

gun powder in the air
strewn tarred feathers
long gone footprints
there were no tears
“More weight.”

B r e a k time!
passing out
the time to
rekindle
old childhoods

That old home
on Mozart
not my Nana's
or mine
anymore

jelly bean
take one
Is it vomit?
I'll never tell
       damn

Sipping on soda
letting the past
get swept away
by the sip
of a straw

Out the window
dripping rain drops
He's out there
having some pizza
with her

Pictures of horses
removed
Misfits and Timberlake
take their place
for now

Many loves
Many hairstyles
Many outfits
only one constant
       solitude

No Longer Free

I walk this circle
around and around
no longer free
knowing every crack
of these concrete walls

I am now a number
kept inside the system
no longer free
alone within myself
not wanting this solitude

I attempt to survive
daily—among the wicked
no longer free
watching myself
trusting no one

I will never see
the pureness of the sun
no longer free
my life on display
between these bars

I think constantly
about my past life
no longer free
convicted and condemned
I walk this circle