Haiku Matching Contest - 3 - Favorites
Global Haiku Traditions Spring 2009
sister sick again Lyndsay Lemanczyk |
listening to your CD alone Bill Ryan |
tossing and turning Billy Seeger |
nightlight shadows— Emily Weible |
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listening to your CD alone |
tossing and turning |
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top quarter champion tossing and turning |
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top half champion tossing and turning |
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bottom quarter champion carnival lights |
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morning’s colors |
carnival lights |
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morning’s colors Natalie Perfetti |
the dance over Sierra Shaw |
another elephant ear Will Frankenberger |
carnival lights Sierra Shaw |
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top half champion tossing and turning |
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champion tossing and turning
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bottom half champion beneath the sky |
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switching the light on Lizzy Kelly |
tales from the adventure ? |
waking up Lizzy Kelly |
music box ballerina Jennifer Godwin |
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switching the light on |
waking up |
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top quarter champion waking up |
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bottom half champion beneath the sky |
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bottom quarter champion beneath the sky |
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in the deep of the woods |
beneath the sky |
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Autumn hike Jennifer Godwin |
in the deep of the woods Brandy Bockewitz |
beneath the sky Ryan Murphy |
flying through the clouds Brandy Bockewitz |
tossing and turning |
nightlight shadows— |
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I like this pair because they are both very similar, yet different. They both give the impression of an interrupted or lacking sleep due to something little that is going on around them. In the first one, the person is losing sleep over the distant sound of a fisherman. In the second, the person’s mind is playing tricks on them as they lay alone in the dark. This could be the result of a fear they have always had or even of borderline insanity brought about by sleep deprivation. In both haiku, we are also left the possibility that there is some deeper thought or emotion that is presenting the person from falling asleep. Bill This haiku "tossing and turning" is beautiful! It really coveys this authors struggle with something; lost love, loneliness, or who just cannot sleep. I really like the fact that the author uses the tide as a means to keep the author awake, but there is something that is deeper to this author that is not allowing for them to sleep. Will These haiku are tied together by the time setting, night. The first was my favorite from the series, and why I chose the pair. What separates the two is definitive of haiku as a genre. The first focuses on the physical, a single moment in time, while the second is vague and metaphysical. While the metaphysical finds its place in post-modern poetry, haiku is an art form held in tradition. The first haiku succeeds in creating the image, offering both nature and man, ambiguous metaphors to be looked at and tossed away, but more importantly, it remains timeless and places the reader in the haiku. This could have been written in ancient Japan or by a classmate; either way, I find myself on the beach watching the rhythmic motions of the swaying boat under the moonlight. Ryan
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These haiku match really well not only because both are themed with night, but also because both impart a sense of uneasiness. “tossing and turning” gives me a dual image: I picture the midnight fisherman fighting the night current in his boat, and I imagine a dreamer shifting restlessly in bed to the sound of the ocean in the background. “nighttime shadows” evokes the scene of a quiet room, darkened save for one nightlight blazing from the nightstand. Rather than soothe the sleeper, I picture her anxiously studying the shadows on the wall, as well as the shadows in her mind. In addition, these haiku possess a similar sense of flow, using a dash to separate their key phrases “midnight fisherman” and “nightlight shadows” from the rest of the poem. Again, “tossing and turning” and “nightlight shadows—” make a great pair. Natalie I really liked both of these haiku it was hard to pick between them. I actually chose the nightlight haiku as the winner of the contest. Both of them I picture in the dark and kind of scary. I don’t go fishing but I would think that I would be kind of scared to go out when it is really dark and I can’t really see anything around me. I would also be scared because not a lot of other people would be out and wouldn’t be able to see if anything happened to me. The nightlight haiku reminds me of when I get really freaked out about ghosts during night time. I remember some nights that I thought I kept seeing weird shadows in my room and was convinced it was a ghost. It really scares me at night, but during the day I know its all in my head. Lizzy |
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in the deep of the woods |
listening to your CD alone |
beneath the sky |
flying through the clouds |
My last two were the “snake changes close” and “listening to your CD.” Both of these haiku made me wish I did them. I love the imagery of the snake shedding its skin. but it has a strong sense of loneliness that can only be experienced by that snake. A bit depressing but very good. I truly believe that you can tell a lot about a person by listening to their music. It was my champion because of that reason. If someone doesn’t like my music then they don’t like me. Hector
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I really like the last two matches of the contest, although I wrote one of them! I think they match up very well in the idea that they both deal with very real things. The settings are pretty much the same and they both deal with the aspect of breathing again or living in general. They both also have a perspective to them that states although the world is big, small things matter too. Brandy |
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morning’s colors |
music box ballerina |
Autumn hike |
in the deep of the woods |
I really enjoy both of these haiku, but for completely different reasons. The first one (“morning’s colors”) paints a very vivid picture – I know exactly the time of day the author is writing about. The oranges begin to shift to more of a goldenrod and the red almost completely disappears, a cool blue rushing through all the while. What’s interesting about this haiku is that it forces me to recognize something that seems so mundane, but also so beautiful. I had never thought about the sky turning into a “kaleidoscope” of sorts, yet it makes complete sense to me. The second haiku speaks to me for a completely separate reason. Not that I know what it’s like to be greeted by a music box ballerina (believe me, I don’t…), but I do recognize that sensation: when you come home and see that one object that has the ability to help you reconnect to your roots, to your home. As of late, I’ve been traveling home quite a bit. The reasons are quite frustrating, but just being home, with my family and all the memories we built there, really helps me to cope with the entire bad goings on. For me, it might be my baby grand piano, or my stuffed Mickey Mouse, or my Nintendo 64. But, then again, those things are just stuff. Family is what matters the most – that’s what this haiku is about. Billy
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I really liked both of these haiku individually, and I also loved them as a pair. I found it interesting that the matching of these two isn’t really with the subject of the haiku, but more with the setting of the haiku. It made it more of a subtle match, but in a great way. The first one reminds me of crime shows I like to watch, and it is a good thing the dog found a scent, but it is also a bad thing because it means that someone has died. The second one I just think is a really great way to talk about a snake shedding their skin. It kind of personifies the snake because rather than being naked, he is simply changing clothes. And it is a neat visual that even though the snake is completely alone and no one knows it exists, it still happens. Emily Both of these haiku have a twist at the end, but I think I find the first one appeals to me the most. The use of ellipses is interesting because it literally creates a visual trail. The end changes my initial perspective from a fall hike to something more sinister and mysterious. I do however, enjoy the personification in the second haiku- a snake changes clothes. Sierra |
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switching the light on |
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tossing and turning |
Autumn hike |
This reminds me of the winter snow storm that Decatur faced a couple of years ago. I didn't realized that the power was out during the day because we did not turn the lights on. It was funny because I knew that the power was out mentally but it had not triggered physically. Jey waking up From the matching contest I really enjoyed this haiku because it brings back memories of my trip to China. We rode a train twice overnight and had to make sure that nothing happened to our belongings. At night I remember that they would make us sleep with either our stuff by our head or at the foot of the bed were no one could reach or things. Also, I like haiku that reminds me of something I either have went through or could imagine going through. Lyndsay |
I matched these haiku because I liked the rawness of both of them. They each have an element of nature, as well as a human aspect. Each of them radiates a sense of restlessness or a struggling of some sort, emotional or otherwise of something much larger or important. I also liked that each of these had movement of some kind, the tide (or the fisherman) tossing and turning and the movement of people and dogs walking. I imagine a fisherman falling asleep in his boat in the middle of the ocean. He is unable to rest peacefully because of the tide movement or something he is struggling with internally. Darkness, water, sky and emotion overpower this haiku. For the other one, I imagine the colors of fall, reds and yellows on trees deep in the woods. The sound of leaves crunching underfoot as the dogs and others make their way down the trail. I picture the dogs barking madly and pulling their handlers as they catch a scent. As the writer of that, I know what my intention was when I wrote it, but I liked the pair anyway. Jennifer
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© 2009,
Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.