a snowflake falls
onto the fresh dirt
a woman’s grave

determined eyes
his arms pumping
body builder

gentle breezes
through the window
so many crickets

replace?

a lonely grave
snowflakes fall
on fresh dirt

snowflakes fall
on the fresh dirt
of her grave

snowflakes fall
onto fresh dirt
a mother's grave

Courtney Gallup

snowflake falls
onto fresh dirt
mother's grave

onto the fresh dirt
a snowflake visits
the new grave

onto fresh dirt
a snowflake falls
mother's grave

her grave
a snowflake falls
onto the fresh dirt

fresh dirt
on her grave
snowflakes fall

don't explain?

arms pumping
determined eyes
body builder

body builder
his arms pumping
determined eyes

body builder
arms pumping
determined eyes

eyes straight ahead
the body builder
pumping arms

plurals?

gentle breeze
through the window
crickets' lullaby

gentle breeze
through open window
crickets call

(This was my haiku and how I think I would like the final version to be!):

gentle breeze
through the window
crickets call to me

Wanda June

hide and seek
hello and goodbye
fresh book unworn pages

time passes
I am not as carefree as
I thought I was

the first of many
new faces
smiling eagerly

list? phrasing?

in unworn pages
hide and seek
a fresh hello

unfinished book
I hide
in pristine pages

hide and seek
hello goodbye
crisp booi unworn pages

new chapter
i hide
in unworn pages

context?

time flashes
not as carefree
as I thought

time passes
I am not as carefree
as I thought

time passes
more careful
than I knew

time passes
along with
my carefree nature

I took out the I’s, to make it more informal. Then I added ‘asyears past’ because it applies to previous years-and it can apply to anyone’slife. I felt like the last two lines were kind of rushed and a lot was crammedinto them, so I decided to shorten them to help the flow and meaning of the haiku:

time passes
not as carefree
as years past

I thought I was
carefree
time passes . . .

time passes
realizing I'm not
carefree

time passes
not as carefree
as before

old yearbook
I'm not as carefree
as I thought

context?

new faces
smiling eagerly
the first of many

the first of
new faces
smiles at me

one new face
smiles
my way

new faces
the first of many
eager smiles

a new face
the first of many
smiling eagerly

I only made a couple small edits on this haiku. I made the first line of the original haiku the third line of the new haiku, the second line of the original haiku the first line of the new haiku, and the last line of the original haiku the second line of the new haiku. After that, I changed the word smiling to smile in the new second line. The new edited haiku reads:

new faces
smile eagerly
the first of many

infinite
strange faces
smile eagerly

kindergarten
new faces smiling
eagerly

fluorescent flares
starry night
disappears

reluctant to let go
raindrops
slide down my cheek

rearrange?

fluorescent glow
erases
starry night

To edit this haiku, I rearranged, cut, added, and replaced. To begin with I made the original first line the new third line, the original third line the new second line, and the original second line the new first line. I cut the word night out of the line starry night and replaced the word starry with the phrase the stars. Because the new first line is now plural I cut the s off of the word disappears. Then, in the original phrase, fluorescent flares, I replaced the word flares with lights and added the word behind in front of fluorescent. The new edited haiku reads:

the stars
disappear
behind fluorescent lights

flickering flares
stars playing
hide and seek

fluorescent flame
starry night
disappears

context?

raindrops slide
down my cheek
reluctant to fall

raindrops
down my cheek
reluctant for goodbye

a raindrop
slides down my cheek
goodbye

down my cheek
raindrops fall
reluctantly

raindrops fall
down my cheek
reluctant to let go

          Stefanie Davis

hiding from goodbye
raindrops trickle
down my cheek

I thought the first line was good, but I changed the second line to have adeeper meaning. Being reluctant to let go, I thought the meaning would packmore of a punch if it was a lone drop. As well, I changed slide to fall sinceraindrops fall:

reluctant to let go
lone rain drop
falls down my cheek

To edit this poem, I tweaked the arrangement and changed a word. I replaced the word raindrops with the word tears and then slid the first line down and made it the last line. The new haiku reads:

teardrops
slide down my cheeks--
reluctant to let go

raindrops fall
down my cheek
reluctant to go

reluctant to let go
raindrops
pour down my cheek