Tanka Kukai 02 Favorites

Tanka Writing Roundtable • Millikin University • Spring 2024

1

chocolate
with wine
and an overpriced
teddy bear
romantic consumerism

Eden Niebrugge (4)

2

take my picture
develop me
in glossy black and white
I want to be more solid
than my shadow

Sophie Nicholson (7)

I simply love this tanka. There is a subtle sense of desperation in this that reads so strongly of someone wanting to pour their entire heart into someone who may return their affections, and yet they voice it to nothing but air. There is a want for connection, human or otherwise, and an attachment that will strengthen how this person views themselves, but an over-dependence and misplaced belief in this person’s abilities to make them feel better. It is still romantic, but there’s this placement of the other on a pedestal that sets up the writer either for disappointment, hurt, or both. Skylyr Choe, Spring 2024

3

I brought a flower home
to die
in the last chapter
of a book
we never finished

Josh Lowe (5)

There are so many things I love about this tanka. First, the line breaks. Each new line feels like the turning point, and they all are, which is impressive. Secondly, I enjoyed the class interpretation of the last three lines. Is it a book we wrote together and never finished? Did we stop on the last chapter? Are we the last chapter that never finished? There’s so many possibilities. Last, the first two lines are my favorite. It’s as if the poet is saying, “This flower was meant to die, just like us.” Eden Niebrugge, Spring 2024

I really love this tanka. Its wording and imagery is very effective, but it’s doing so many interesting things on a technical level. It’s so interesting to me that the tanka has more than one turning point. The first line is pretty pleasant, but I love that it’s bringing a flower home instead of just picking a flower or something. It feels more intimate as written. And then the suddenness of “to die” on a single line feels like a turning point, but it’s so early on. Then after the book discussion, it defines the book as something unfinished, which feels like the second turning point. The fact that the writer was able to write two major changes in so few lines is really impressive to me. I like the way the tanka is layed out visually, as it sort of feels like things are stacking on top of each other. The line breaks are really clean and well-chosen. Sophie Nicholson, Spring 2024

4

pointing out clouds
in the summer sky
train whistle in the distance
your hand in mine
as we lay ourselves to rest

Skylyr Choe

No one talked about this poem in class and I didn’t mark it as a favorite but I find it really interesting now that I’m rereading it! This is more of a dark interpretation of the poem but it kind of reminds me of old tv shows where they would tie people to railroad tracks to murder them. Maybe this is a couple that’s committed a crime and have both been tied to the tracks. To distract themselves as time passes they point out different clouds to each other and try to enjoy their last moments of being alive together. They hear the train coming and are holding hands, waiting for it to pass over them and kill them, but they rest in the comfort that they are going together. Leah Flint, Spring 2024

5

watching wispy strands
of long blond hair
the name
you gave yourself
just perfect

Leah Flint (3)

This one reads so sweet and simple to me, but it has an air of mystery and potentially longing about it that I find really appealing. I like the slight alliteration of “watching wispy” and the vivid image the first two lines conjure. The simplicity of the last three lines works in the tanka’s favor. It says something so profound in so few words. I love the finality of “just perfect” about someone and their name. This may not have been intended, but it makes me think of the trans people in my life who’ve chosen new names for themselves and the positive impact those names have. I love everything this tanka captures. Sophie Nicholson, Spring 2024

6

one day
comes and goes
like your love
my heart
lets go

McKenna Beals (4)

7

a scorecard
in her head
if only
I knew
the score

Randy Brooks (3)

8

saccharine hearts
chalky and pink
I place one in your palm
saying BE MINE
        you don’t argue.

Sophie Nicholson (4)

This poem was one that I double-voted, and as you very well know by now I love romantic or love poems! The use of the word saccharine is a really nice way to begin the poem and catches the reader right away. It’s very clever and reads much better than “candy hearts” would have in my opinion. The descriptors in this poem are quite lovely with the hearts being described as chalky and pink too. I think the poem also outlines the relationship of these people so well in so few words. The way I imagine it is a pair who has been going out for some time but haven’t yet made their relationship official. One person in the couple thinks a clever way of letting their partner know that they’re ready to be official is to give them a candy heart and see what their response is. They carefully select a heart from the box that reads “BE MINE” and their partner knows exactly what they mean by the gesture. Leah Flint, Spring 2024

9

from afar
she watched me,
silently pining after my heart.
Like a mouse in a trap,
I was none the wiser.

Skylyr Choe (3)

10

fighting sleep
to savor
just one more moment
of us
tangled limb and limb

Leah Flint (3)

11

my name
sloppily adorns
the red envelope
hiding
a vague expression

McKenna Beals

12

someone compliments
my necklace
as I tell them about it
I freeze remembering
who gave it to me

13

i will survive this
as i always do
the MRI machine
closes over
me

Eden Niebrugge (4)

This tanka speaks to me as someone who has had many health issues and undergone lots of medical testing. I love that the profound realization in the poem happens at the beginning. The acknowledgement of resilience conveys the strength of the speaker, but I also get a sense of resignation in the line “as i always do.” I really feel the speaker’s exhaustion. I love that while everything else is lowercase, MRI is still capitalized, making the word feel more visually and emotionally imposing. I also love “me” as a singular final line. You get a sense of the aloneness that the speaker would have felt in an MRI machine. The machines are big, dark, and scary, and you have to go through it by yourself. This tanka does a great job conveying the complex emotions that come with continued medical intervention. Sophie Nicholson, Spring 2024

14

The pink blossom tree
a favorite in childhood
chopped down yesterday.
Now where
will the fairies live?

Sophie Nicholson (6)

15

not all men!
they cry,
as though a child once bitten
                wouldn’t be
                   twice shy

Skylyr Choe (5)

16

holding me
until dawn
one arm
over my chest
light as a feather

Randy Brooks

I really enjoyed this tanka. I love the lightness that is being described by the comparison of the feather. It's a very sweet moment being represented. I feel like it's as if the relationship itself is being viewed as light and airy. There's not a care in the world, especially at the later evening that's being depicted. Being with that person is the only thing on their mind, no other weights of the world. Only the lightness of the arm over the chest is the only thing that's being felt beside the calmness. McKenna Beals, Spring 2024

17

creating a world
at 6 years old
showing it to my mother
and smiling
as she critiques it

Josh Lowe

This tanka gives me mixed emotions, but I really enjoy that. The relationship between the child and the mother is interesting. To me, it seems as though the child is excited about something they created, maybe a drawing. I think it may be more complicated than that. The child is also very young and is very innocent to the reality of what the mother is expected from the child. She's criticizing the 'world' that has been created by the child. Maybe because it isn't realistic? The relationship is complicated, and I think into adulthood there could be resentment by the child. Nothing was ever good enough even at such a young age. When a mother should be celebrating the young child, but instead they are criticized for their innocence. I really love the complicated emotion and relationship that this tanka is portraying. It seems very deep. McKenna Beals, Spring 2024

I didn’t talk about this one class, but I definitely marked it down for one that I enjoyed. It’s sad, how often the one person you want approval or praise from is someone who will never give it to you. It happens a lot with children, be it their parents or their teachers or some other forms of authority that otherwise won’t indulge them in their imagination or immediately moves to chastise or critisise what a child has done simply because it isn’t “right” or it’s “immature” or “not as important as ___” and use that moment to crush their hopes. It turns a lot of people off to things that they may have liked or used as hobbies and teaches a lot of children well into their adulthood that little things like drawing aren’t acceptable and create great senses of stress or poor coping skills. It’s sad, and very real. Skylyr Choe, Spring 2024

18

this life
will be beautiful;
i cut my tongue
on the envelope
gum seal

Eden Niebrugge (4)

19

deep tissue massage
our necks strain
from looking down
      those people
      we used to know

Leah Flint (3)

20

my shoe loose
walking home from the bar
arm around your shoulder
I’m lovesick
on the sidewalk

Sophie Nicholson (3)

21

the bright neon
and vulgar conversation
dulling the mind
nevertheless . . .
isolation skulks

22

if god was
a teenage girl
she would have
hated herself
too

Eden Niebrugge (5)

23

leave the house
one final time
suitcase full of
corduroy and candle wax
all the things I love

Sophie Nicholson (3)

This poem reminds me of a “coming of age” movie, where the teenager decides to run away with their high school sweetheart. The Netflix series “Ginny & Georgia” reminds me of this. I love the idea of a suitcase full of corduroy and candle wax, and those two things being “all the things I love.” However, I can also see the entire first four lines being “all the things I love,” as a bittersweet moment of leaving a life behind. Overall, great vibes! Eden Niebrugge, Spring 2024

24

crashing into a cabinet
with no restraint
tears well
as I look up at my brother
what a good memory

25

collecting shells
in shallow water
this one
already chosen
by a hermit crab

Randy Brooks (7)

26

counting the bruises,
I regret letting in
your carnivorous heart.
      it tears into me,
             hungry for love.

Skylyr Choe (4)

27

on my lips
the pulsing sore
at my words
anxious fingers
pull

Leah Flint (4)

 

 

 


© 2024, Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.