Haiku to Edit 1

Global Haiku • Millikin University • Spring 2025

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To edit a haiku, begin by reading & imagining the scene of the haiku.

Is is clear? Can you tell where this is happening?
Does it establish an atmosphere or overall mood?

Then consider the four possible ways of editing and coming up with alternative versions:

1 - CUT anything that is unneccesary or repeated information

(watch out NOT to lose the natural conversational tone)
(we don't want broken jambles of words)
(a haiku is NOT a list of things)

2 - ADD more sensory detail if there is not enough to establish a context

(is your haiku all commentary? just thoughts?)
(would a kigo or seasonal image enrich the haiku?)
(are you explaining instead of showing?)

3 - REPLACE a weak word, phrase or verb with a more evocative one

ie: (instead of "walk" you could say "stumble, amble, tiptoe, stroll")
(replace plurals that tend to generalize with a specific instance)
(instead of bird how about the specific bird?)

4 - REARRANGE the furniture

(try moving the last line to first, or switch the phrases)
(try to follow the order or movement of perception or insight)
(rephrase half of the haiku for better conversational flow)
(consider shifting the pause, silence or break in the haiku)
(consider breaking lines or making it a monoku)

© 2025 , Randy Brooks • Millikin University
All rights returned to authors upon publication.