Kris Wolbers • Kris's Haiku • Essay on Masajo Suzuki

The writings of Masajo Suzuki are quite interesting because they capture the heart of women. Without hesitation she shares her deepest thoughts and feelings in such a way that you feel her joy, her pain, her loneliness and the love she felt for those in her life. Masajo effortlessly reveals the lightest and darkest thoughts of love. Masa Suzuki was born in 1906 in Japan, the third daughter of the owner of a seaside hotel. Although she married in 1929 and had a daughter in 1932, her husband mysteriously disappeared in 1935, prompting her to seek a divorce. That same year, her older sister Ryu died, leaving a husband and four children. Due to Japanese culture, Maso was obligated to marry her sister’s widower and take her place as wife, mother and manager of the hotel. In 1936, Masojo met a young naval air force officer, YM and fell in love. This relationship would last until his death forty years later. During the same period of time that Masajo met YM, she also was introduced to the world of haiku. She met haiku poets that her sister Ryu had been involved with, at her funeral. Masajo was slowly drawn into the circle of haiku which invited creativity and freedom that she did not feel she had in her own life. She began studying under Ryu’s master, Hakusuiro Oba in 1936. She later joined the Shunto or Light of Spring Night haiku group and studied under Mantaro Kubota until his death in 1963. In 1957 Masajo divorced her second husband, moved to Tokyo and opened a pub called Unami (April Waves) in order to support herself. She would work the pub during the day and each evening, she would write haiku, capturing the simple thoughts and moments of her day. Though YM was married with children of his own, he would spend the week nights with Masajo and return home on the weekends to spend with his family. When YM died in 1977, one of his friends brought Masajo a small piece of bone from his finger that was found among his cremation ashes She treasured this find and kept it until her death in 1998. With all of the love and heartache that Masajo experienced in her lifetime, she drew upon these events to write image evoking haiku. While adultery was against the law when she was involved with YM, she did not let that prevent her from experiencing life to the fullest. She was fully aware of the judgement and criticism she received from others, yet she willingly withstood these obstacles to experience love. The shame it brought her family pained her, but she stood firm, never being arrogant in her stance. This may seem childish or selfish to many, but this was a brave woman who followed her heart and was willing to accept any repercussions that came with it. Many of Masajo’s haiku touched me. Her openness and honesty are so refreshing, yet so revealing that you can truly imagine what she was feeling at the time of the writing. She gave up so many things in life to be with the man she loved, yet never felt pity or rarely felt regret. Some of my favorites of her work: firefly light: I step off the path of woman’s virtue Masajo knew that by being involved with YM, her life would change forever. She willingly gave up a life of tradition and security to branch out on her own. I would imagine that she was somewhat anxious in this decision–for it was a conscious decision–yet she was resolute. She knew that by following her heart she would open herself up to ridicule and pain, yet she was undeterred. Was it that YM was such a great man? I don’t’ think so. I think Masajo was a wise woman who understood that all of life is meaningless without love and relationships. Her priorities were simply different than most others and she was courageous enough to let them guide her life. a moth dances into the flame . . . the nape of the man’s neck draws me in Masajo was a sexual woman. She related to things not perversely, but had an honesty in her sexuality. As a moth is attracted to the warmth and dancing of the fire, she was drawn physically to this man. She knew the dangers, knew it could be destructive, but chose not to resist. I don’t think she was unable, I think the depth of her love was such that it never occurred to her to do anything other than be with him. Drawing attention to the nape of his neck makes me believe that it was the hidden things about this man that attracted her. It wasn’t an obvious flaunting, it was subtle and deep. We all experience temptations in our lives. Most of the time we just ignore them, never letting them take hold in our conscious thoughts. However, sometimes they do sink in and we are also drawn to the flames. Another example of Masajo’s work: frozen star . . . unforgiving light falls on me This feels very lonely to me. I can picture Masajo alone on a cold night, looking to the heavens for comfort. She seems to feel that she has been so dishonorable, so shameful that she could never be forgiven by her god or anyone else. Was this a temporary feeling that Masajo experienced? Or was it something she felt deep within but didn’t let surface very often? Was her religious background such that she felt she had fallen so far away from what was right that there was no way for her to redeem herself? This is definitely a very sad time in Masajo’s life. In my own relationship with God, I know there have been times when I have turned away from what I know is right. At those times it was hard to imagine that I could ever be forgiven for doing things that I knew were wrong. Masajo seems to feel that everywhere she turned there was unforgiveness. Maybe it was from her god, her family, her friends or maybe it was imagined. Either way, it was very real to her at that moment. On a lighter note: longing for love– I place a single strawberry in my mouth Masajo was possibly at a place in her life where things were maybe a little too settled–too predictable. Not that she was discontent, only that a little excitement would have been nice. The single strawberry reminded her of falling in love. The innocence, freshness and feeling of being alive is so strong when you’re developing a new relationship! When all of your senses are heightened, the world looks brighter and more welcoming. The burst of flavor you get when biting into a sweet, fresh strawberry is the perfect comparison to the surge of emotion you experience when you’re falling in love with someone new. I don’t see this as being a feeling that stayed with her, probably just something that occurred to her from time to time when she was a little bored or weary from working so hard on a personal connection. Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship knows it can get tough and sometimes monotonous. Masajo was just so in tune with her feelings that this single haiku captured the moment perfectly. heartsick day– nested deeply in the rattan chair Who cannot feel this? At those times when there is so much hurt or confusion that it seems you cannot function, what better way to cope than to draw into yourself and heal? Notice its just a day. Masajo has no intention of letting this beat her or become a way of life for her, but she knows that today she needs to acknowledge her pain and experience it, maybe in order to understand it better, to figure out a way to deal with it. It’s too personal to share with anyone else, it’s only her’s. What has happened to make her feel this way isn’t the issue. What is important is that her feeling is raw, its consuming and in order to get past it, she must take the time to think it through, to let it out and let it go. I see this as strength. Courage to confront herself, to experience the situation instead of hide from it or avoid it. Maybe up until this point, the emotion has been building but something has happened that is the final straw. She cannot continue until she deals with this. Although she knows it will be extremely difficult, it is something she must do in order to get her life back in order and not succumb to instability. Even in such despair, Masajo eloquently puts her feelings into haiku, without pity and without drama. Revelations from Masajo: for a woman unable to pray . . . a falling star That star must have seemed like a gift from her god. Masajo was living a life of deceit. Her love was wholly given to a married man. How do you pray when you know you are living a life of sin? At those times when I feel the farthest from God, how like Him to send some simple sign that He is there, He is listening and He is still waiting. Masajo must have felt that she had gone too far, done too much to ever be able to have a relationship with her god. When there are no words you feel you have the right to pray, what an honor to be given such a sign of love and forgiveness! Masajo’s connection with nature would only have made this experience that much more intimate. washing at night— all the laundry is my own When the love of your life is a married man, you never have the opportunity to show your love in the most feminine of ways. Although doing laundry is to most a mundane chore, it is also a way for a woman to show how much she loves and cares for her family or lover. YM probably took his laundry home with him on the weekends for his wife to do. In that day it would have been strange not to. Masajo’s children were grown, she lived by herself. She knew that by loving someone else’s husband she would spend the rest of her days caring only for herself. There is no self-pity in these words. It is simply an observation of an every day event in her life. She is sharing that she is alone and that it is okay. It doesn’t seem that she is asking for sympathy from anyone. She wouldn’t want anyone to think or say, “Poor Masajo.” She has chosen this path. She is comfortable in her aloneness since she is only there because of choices she willingly made. She is not sorry about the direction of her life nor is she regretful. She is simply alone. One unique thing about Masajo is that she writes totally about herself and her experiences. This is not a direction most haiku experts would have taken. Even though her haiku are about her life, they are not egotistical, arrogant or obnoxious. There is a connection with the seasons in all of her haiku and yet they are made in such a way that even to an American with little knowledge of haiku, the comparison falls into place and makes sense. Those seasonal words bring light to the depth of her passions. Masajo wrote of her life in such a way that nearly anyone can relate to her experiences. Her openness allows one the opportunity to shake their head and think, “yeah, I know just what she’s talking about.” Or maybe it helps one understand how someone else was feeling or thinking when they made similar choices. Although Masajo’s intentions were probably only to put on paper her thoughts and feelings, she has touched the lives of many. Not being a haiku expert in any way, it was obvious to me the extent to which she touches people, just by the reactions and responses of my classmates. Most of us were deeply moved by her words and able to relate to the depth of her feelings. Her ability to say so much with so few words is truly amazing. I feel honored to have had the opportunity to become acquainted with her work. —Kris Wolbers